Saturday, 1 September 2007

Manuel versus the Ebola virus*


what doesn't kill Manuel
makes Manuel stronger....


Friday lunchtime and I'm not feeling too good. I have been chundering all night and have a case of the "Eartha Kitts". Not good, not good at all. I had to go home, so I approached the Glorious Leader....

"I'm sick, gonna have to go home."

"Sick? What's wrong with you?"

"Ebola virus."

"Ebola virus? Ebola hemorrhagic fever is potentially lethal and encompasses a range of symptoms including vomiting, diarrhea, general body pain, internal and external bleeding, and fever. Mortality rates are generally high, ranging from 50% - 90%, with the cause of death usually due to hypovolemic shock or organ failure. And you have it, the Ebola Virus?"

"Yup, Ebola Virus. What else could take down a stone hard warrior like me? Has to be the Ebola Virus."

"Whatever. You think you will survive through the night for work tomorrow?"

"Yeah a bit of soup and I'll be right as rain. There's no Ebola Virus that can kill me."

"Get out."

"See you tomorrow."

First day off sick in years.

*may not have been the Ebola Virus

14 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

James UK said...

Did you break your "vomit streak" or is it still intact? How long is yours? ;-)

Medbh said...

Poor Manuel.
Getting sick in the summer sucks.
Fluids, bed rest, and vitamins.
Take care of yourself.

Manuel said...

JamesUK: God no, this was mild by comparison to previous bouts...

Medbh: Back to work today, been in bed since 4pm yesterday...

Flirty Something said...

assuming it is no ebola, get well soon.

angela said...

aw :( feel betterrr

fatmammycat said...

Lots of fluids like Medbh said, especially if you're er..pooing a lot. And plain food, like plain white rice and chicken. No hooch and definitely no yoghurts, unless you're planning on losing a lot of weight.
Get well sooon toots,
FMC

Manuel said...

Flirty: apparently not, just some tummy upset. Just doesn't sound as manly....

Angela: Thanks, word is that I'll live...

FMC: Yoghurts can do that eh? I'm off to knock 5 yoplaits into me now then!

Anonymous Boxer said...

Manuel - 0
Ebola - 1

Cheering you on for a speedy recovery.

Old Knudsen said...

Ebola Virus, I've had that more times than you've spat in a customer's food and I never took a day off sick, once I shat out all my guts and I still finished the operation, of course the patient died which is why I can no longer practice medicine.

Manuel said...

Anonymous boxer: more a score draw..

Old Knudsen: Did you not create it in your backyard lab?

fatmammycat said...

Well you'll lose it, but it only comes out one way-actually that's not true, it comes out both ways, the trick is not to do that AT the same time.

Conortje said...

I hope you kicked that ebola's ass!

Manuel said...

fmc: I have a sink/toilet technique that works quite well for such occasions...

Conortje: I'm alive! The best I can hope for really, all things considered...

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