Wednesday, 15 August 2007

There you go Pierre....

Amelie couldn't wait for lunch in Belfast...

France, the land of fine wine and even finer food.

From the humble baguette and croissant to Bouillabaisse and Chateaubriand the French have been the unrivalled masters of modern cuisine. Their ideas and techniques have permeated our lives and are now taken for granted. They realised that you could eat frogs (you have to wonder how that conversation went when Pierre walked into the kitchen with half a frog hanging out of his mouth) and that you could do more with snails than torture them with salt. The French care not a jot if the world thinks they are savages for forcing food down the necks of ducks and geese just so that we may gorge ourselves on Fois Gras. They take to the streets in protest and rebellion if they think their food culture is threatened in any way. Armed militia make threats if their wine making lives are threatened by cheap imports.

France gave birth to Marie-Antoine Carême and Georges Auguste Escoffier the Godfathers of modern cooking who begat the brothers Roux, who begat Marco Pierre White, who begat Gordon Ramsay. The influence of the French on modern cooking, wine, and service is almost unquantifiable.

So when you have 40 French pensioners in your Belfast restaurant on a wet and cold Tuesday lunchtime what should you give them?

Ham, cabbage, mash, and parsley sauce. Get it in til ye Pierre. There's more if you want seconds too. Honestly! I'm surprised the management didn't ask me to wear a leprechaun outfit and run around saying "t'be sure t'be sure".

Welcome to Belfast, Bon Appétit as we say on the Lisburn Road. (Actually they probably do on the Lisburn Road)

19 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Medbh said...

Hah!
Did you set the menu, Manuel?
I cannot imagine the methane fumes leaking in your fine restaurant from the old folks who are already gassy and tooting to begin with.
Bombs Away!

Anonymous Boxer said...

Hey, over here we hate the French so much (well, I don't...) we tried to rename French Fries into FREEDOM Fries.

Catsup anyone?

Mike said...

That's one thing I love about the French... They won't take any crap. I'm waiting to see how they handle the no smoking in public places ban. Should be interesting.

Deborah said...

And ze verdict???

Zid zey like ze cabbAGE! ;-)

Toast said...

paté, croissant, ragout, brioche baguette, biscuit, crêpes, pain au chocolat, éclairs.... and thats of the top of my head without cognac, champagne and the rest.

The country that hates the french is doomed to call a McDonalds a 'restaurant'

Manuel said...

medbh: me? God no, the head chef knocked that one up on the back of a napkin, genius.

Anonymous boxer: Yes please!

Mike: They had a ban years ago, but it lasted for a few minutes. True story..

Deborah: They absolutely loved it, plates were cleaned. I was shocked...

Toast. Very well put, the Plato of Ballymoney...

sheepworrier said...

u shulda just sent them to spuds on bradbury place...
oh, did u give them a loada HP sauce as well?

Manuel said...

sheepworrier: Sauce Anglais? I don't think so...

Macdara said...

Sounds lovely cant wait for some this weekend. You cant get good cabbage over here.

Manuel said...

Macdara: It was great, I had a huge man sized plate whilst the chef was beating up a commis chef...

sheepworrier said...

btw, cheers for the pic of audrey tatu (?).
was in the pub las nite discussing what celeb wuld be the best g'friend material. question answered methinks.

Old Knudsen said...

I know what to give them, a white flag in case they need to surrender.

Lord Milky said...

I don't mind the French. They gave us Audrey Tatou - and that, good sir, is one for the wank bank.

Manuel said...

Sheepworrier: I had a nasty old French lady at first. That would have changed things somewhat...

Old K: Viva La France!

Lord Milky: Ah the bank that likes to say.... well you know what it likes to say. Classy by the way, very classy...

fatmammycat said...

Fucking cabbage. How anyone can tolerate that bitter iron-y vile shite is beyond me.
Fucking French, how anyone can tolerate those bitter iron-y vile shites is beyond me.
Or as French Gay likes to claim aloud, 'OOf, my countrymen are ze beegist sheets of zem all.'
Quite so.

Manuel said...

FMC: Awh that's hard... I quite like them, they make me laugh...that's at not with...

fatmammycat said...

And the French?

Manuel said...

oh they are just cunts.....

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