Sunday, 17 June 2007

Saturday night, an opportunity lost...


UFC 72?

...to clean up Belfast once and for all. Thousands and thousands of sweaty, testosterone filled, dripping in gold, muscle top wearing, knuckle dragging, baseball cap sporting, grunting instead of speaking, Timberland boot wearing, Pitbull dog owning, goes out with someone called Shaz, Kaz, or Stacey, taxi driving, steroid taking, works as a doorman, calls people who read books fruits, listens to Coldplay and happy hardcore, drives a Subaru, used to go on holiday to Ibiza but now goes to Orlando or Mexico, says "here be's me, wah", only wears Nike, Reebok, Gucci (fakes), Diesel, Tommy Hilfinger, eats well done fillet steak then complains it's small, hits on your girlfriend even when you are sitting beside her, goes out with his mates on a Sunday night, goes out with "her" on a Friday night, buys dodgy fags, sells dodgy DVDs, likes to whistle at school girls, but hates "pedofiles", reads the Sun and the News of The World, has a sixty inch flat screen/plasma HD ready TV, hates all the "bloody foreigners" taking our jobs, is doing the double, dyes their hair, goes on sunbeds, idiots were packed into the Odyssey Arena on Saturday night for UFC:72.

I wouldn't normally advocate the widespread and indiscriminate slaughter of a group of people but this was an opportunity too good to miss. You could have wiped out 80 to 90% of the Belfast criminal population in one go. Next time.....


"gay theatre?"

17 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Medbh said...

Those guys also seem to like gold chains on the neck and wear tons of cologne. Drakar Noir, I believe.
Their boobs are always bigger than mine.

Old Knudsen said...

Without Spides and millies the 11th night would be peaceful, does that sound right? its funny at how they are all into the oversized sweat shirts , caps,their bling bling and are racist but total wiggers. They don't like gheys but will watch the half naked men in the ring.

Ah our people mate, aren't you proud?

Fat Sparrow said...

No fair; if you're going to bomb them, I demand to be able to wipe out Raider's fans. They fall into the same categories.

Jennifer said...

I used to use Drakkar Noir, then I turned 12. Oh, snap!

Steve said...

Then I logged off my fiancee's account and used my own. Oh, snap!

fatmammycat said...

Sheet, I love fights, any kind of fighting at all. I sometimes wake up screaming 'here comes Macho Man Randy Savage!!!!" Or pondering aloud ''What would Ramon Dekker do? ' 'n stuff.
This is bad, very bad. I don't own a pit and I wear Dior perfume, so can I get a pass?

Flirty Something said...

where are the troubles and the odd spare bomb when you need them!

ellie said...

I'm with FMC, can beat a bit of a fight!

Jake "the Snake" Roberts! ;)

My brother was there, minus the Spide regalia and the pit bull.

fatmammycat said...

Quite right Ellie. Make way for THE UNDERTAKER!! I know I know it's all fake, but how can you not get overly excited about all that maleness. Huzzah for fights. Huzzah for testosterone! Huzzah for the cage! And double doodle deep for Ultimate Fighter.

ellie said...

I wonder is Rowdy Roddy Piper a relative of Knudsen? Canuck with a kilt!

whyioughtta said...

What method of slaughter would you choose?

JD said...

But what were they all doing in the restaurant? Surely not a Stag do?

Cybez said...

OFF TOPIC

just to let you know, you've been tagged

Fat Sparrow said...

Jennifer/Steve -- Congratulations; that was one of the funniest things I've ever read in a comment on a blog, and I've been around. I'm still giggling like a middle-schooler.

paddy said...

They're not all gay, are they?
Now that you mention it.
Y;-) Paddy

Manuel said...

Medbh: Prove it...

Old K: Our people my arse, fuck em

fat sparrow: don't let me stop you

Jennifer/Steve: HEHEHEHEHE

FMC: NO

FLIRTY: I know!!!

Ellie: Did he spent the rest of the weekend practising "moves"

WIO: Bomb, tried and tested

jd: No they were in the bar. We don't put food in troughs or nose bags so they had to stay in the bar.

paddy: the baby oil is a give away

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