Saturday night, an opportunity lost...

UFC 72?

...to clean up Belfast once and for all. Thousands and thousands of sweaty, testosterone filled, dripping in gold, muscle top wearing, knuckle dragging, baseball cap sporting, grunting instead of speaking, Timberland boot wearing, Pitbull dog owning, goes out with someone called Shaz, Kaz, or Stacey, taxi driving, steroid taking, works as a doorman, calls people who read books fruits, listens to Coldplay and happy hardcore, drives a Subaru, used to go on holiday to Ibiza but now goes to Orlando or Mexico, says "here be's me, wah", only wears Nike, Reebok, Gucci (fakes), Diesel, Tommy Hilfinger, eats well done fillet steak then complains it's small, hits on your girlfriend even when you are sitting beside her, goes out with his mates on a Sunday night, goes out with "her" on a Friday night, buys dodgy fags, sells dodgy DVDs, likes to whistle at school girls, but hates "pedofiles", reads the Sun and the News of The World, has a sixty inch flat screen/plasma HD ready TV, hates all the "bloody foreigners" taking our jobs, is doing the double, dyes their hair, goes on sunbeds, idiots were packed into the Odyssey Arena on Saturday night for UFC:72.

I wouldn't normally advocate the widespread and indiscriminate slaughter of a group of people but this was an opportunity too good to miss. You could have wiped out 80 to 90% of the Belfast criminal population in one go. Next time.....

"gay theatre?"