O'Ramsay's Latest Venture

An artists impression of the New Ritz Carlton Powerscourt Hotel Gordon looks pleased

Full time potty mouth and sometime chef, Gordon Ramsay, is opening a restaurant in Ireland. Now that should be fun. His new venture is located in the ever so expensive Ritz Carlton Powerscourt Hotel. He is apparently very excited about the quality of Irish produce and has indicated that the food served will be influenced by the tradition of Irish food.

I wonder if that means he will be serving £30.00 bowls of Irish stew?

Seriously I am pretty excited about this. Ireland is full of great food and great/psychotic chefs, but I always wanted to try food by the swear master. Maybe someone will take me for my birthday. [cough cough]

But I wonder how he will get on with an Irish crew in the kitchen. Not that he will be there all the time. I'd say he will have his work cut out with the relaxed attitude of your average Irishman. (Like I say I enjoy a good stereotype, even the outdated ones). It could be the death of him...

GR: Where's my fucking lamb rump? Oi fat balls, where is my lamb fucking rump?

FB: Ah now Mr Ramsay, loike me old mudder used t'say "It'll be ready when it's ready"

GR: Listen here you fat Paddy fuck get my fucking lamb ready you cunt.

FB: Ah now Mr Ramsay dat's not very noice now is it. Loike me old mudder used to say "If you have nothing noice to say, well you just shouldn't say anyting at all"

GR: Chef! Call me "chef" you cunting Paddy bastard.

FB: Sarry der Gordon, oi mean chef, sarry chef.

GR: I'll "Gordon" you, you fat piggy Paddy bastard. Eh piggy bastard. You like being called piggy bastard, piggy bastard?

FB: Ah Mr Ramsay oi've been called worse. Me old mudder used to call me terrible names when I shat meself as a cub.

Ramsay gets even more rilled when he can't get a rise out of Fat Balls and in his frustration at not getting his lamb rump on time he takes a swing at him. But Fat Balls catches his arm mid swing and drags Ramsay towards him.

FB: OH HO a boxing match is it? Listen here young fella me lad, oi'l kick your arse back to Scotchland yi dick if you don't stop wi your shenanigans. Now d'lamb will be ready when it's ready.

He pushes Ramsay away and he falls onto the floor knocking over the bin which empties over him.

FB: Chef me arse.

Well, it could happen. God I hope so....

Seamus was looking forward to working with Gordon Ramsay
"Ah oi'm sure di big fella will be great craic"

P.s I've had a very bad day today, teachers, school dinner ladies, and lots and lots of old people. Wheres my bottle of Gin...?