Saturday, 2 June 2007

I'm so proud...and drunk..and skint...but proud

Pint of Harp mate
school was a bitch today...

What would you spend ₤47,000 on? A flash car? Put it towards a holiday home in Donegal? Invest it for the kiddies future? Well if you are from Belfast you will probably piss it down the toilet or throw it up outside the pub! Nice.

A report published by the alcohol awareness and rehabilitation website Perry Clayman Project has revealed that people in Belfast spend ₤47,000 on booze over the period of their lives. This is more than anywhere else in the UK. Cambridge came a piss(ed) poor second with a paltry spend of £40,939. Wimps.

The top ten pished cities

1. Belfast
2. Cambridge
3. Leeds
4. Leicester
5. Manchester
6. London
7. Sheffield
8. Bristol
9. Aberdeen
10. Cardiff

Makes you proud eh? We may not have won our bid for European City of Culture but we won the fight after. Now when you think about how many God botherers there are in Belfast who prefer a big pint of Jesus to a pint of harp(ic) it really means that the rest of us are spending even more than the ₤47,000. The next bar to my restaurant had a "healthy" queue outside it at half ten this morning which is testament to the reports findings.

But don't rush to condemn us too quickly. What else was there to do over the last three decades? We only got some decent shops in which to spent our beer tokens, sorry I mean money, in a few years ago. A wander round Belfast "City" centre a few years back would have lasted but 15 minutes, unless you were captivated by the C&A range of smart casuals. And what past times we indulged in as a people were no good unless you were off your mind on a bottle of Buckfast or a four pack of Special Brew. Have you ever rioted sober? I think not!

All joking aside, when you consider that earnings in the North of Ireland are amongst the lowest in the UK this report isn't good reading. My boss was chirpier today though as he greeted the booze hounds who keep him in BMW style.

Does that mean I work in a very successful industry? Should I be getting paid more? Am I sober now?

12 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Fat Sparrow said...

Never mind all that. I like the new Blog Header. Did you just put that up, or am I a thick fuck, and have been staring at it for days?

Manuel said...

Its been up since Sunday. I am rather chuffed with it. I had to explain the Scarface reference to LMM.

Medbh said...

How do they even measure that? Through drink sales?
On the flip side, doesn't Belfast have the lowest crime rate in the UK?

Manuel said...

Good point Medbh. N.Ireland is one of the safest places to live in the world according to the UN. But that is based on recorded crime. A whole lot of crime aint recorded and is "dealt with" if you know what I mean.

Old Knudsen said...

Recorded crime thats funny.

Its getting to the point where people will sue rather than fight and the police won't ge allowed to cuff a wanker around the ear for talking back. The Yanks and their ghey culture have a lot to answer for.

#1 Yay!

Old Knudsen said...

I had to explain the Scarface reference to LMM

And thats why you blog.

Bock the Robber said...

That's serious drinkin there, mucker.

Like you say, when there's fuck-all else to do only riot, you might as well get pissed.

These days, I suppose, with increased prosperity, they slug a better class of drinkahol on the canal banks at night. Classier pissheads.

whyioughtta said...

Reason #972 for me to visit Ireland, Belfast in particular. God love yaz.

p.s. I often wonder how hilarious real Belfastians (wd?) would find our "Irish pubs" over here...and belive me, there's a disproportionate number of them in this town. All with names like "Paddy Bolands" and "The Heart and Crown" and "D'arcy McGee's" (well actually D'arcy McGee was a Canadian prime minister, but still...).

Medbh said...

Excellent point, Manuel.
I forgot about all the people limping around Belfast.

Fat Sparrow said...

Whyioughtta -- The Spouse Sparrow is from Belfast, and he thought they were hilarious when he first came over here to So Cal. He had to explain to the owner of the local wanna-be pub that NI was part of the UK, and ROI was a separate country. NI'ers are the Rodney Dangerfields of the UK and Ireland. They get no respect.

Americans have a reputation for being thick fuckers, and we come by it honest.

Er, by the way Manuel, sorry this thick fucker didn't notice the header sooner. It's brilliant. The part where you had to explain it to LMM is just the icing on the cake.

Manuel said...

Old K: Why sue someone when you can pop down to your local advice centre and have someone with a wolly face deal with it? Eh?


Bock: no no, same scum just more cash.

wio: There was an Irish pub in FAMILY GUY called WIFEY MC BEATTIES. Brilliant

medbh: Correct, limping. But that doesnt work. Rough justice dealt out by nasty little men with shit big egos.

Anonymous said...

成人電影,情色,本土自拍, 情色聊天室, 寄情築園小遊戲, AV女優,成人電影,情色,本土自拍, A片下載, 日本A片, 麗的色遊戲, 色色網, ,嘟嘟情人色網, 色情網站, 成人網站, 正妹牆, 正妹百人斬, aio,伊莉, 伊莉討論區, 成人遊戲, 成人影城,
ut聊天室, 免費A片, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網,
美女交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人貼圖, 成人電影, A片, 豆豆聊天室, 聊天室, UT聊天室, 尋夢園聊天室, 男同志聊天室, UT男同志聊天室, 聊天室尋夢園, 080聊天室, 080苗栗人聊天室, 6K聊天室, 女同志聊天室, 小高聊天室, 情色論壇, 色情網站, 成人網站, 成人論壇, 免費A片, 上班族聊天室, 成人聊天室, 成人小說, 微風成人區, 色美媚部落格, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人論壇,
日本A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友, 本土自拍, 免費A片下載, 性愛,
成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, aV, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片,成人電影,情色,本土自拍,