Monday, 7 May 2007

Q: Why did the customer cross the road?

A: To verbally abuse the waiters!

Not a very funny joke, but then again it wasn't a very funny weekend. I would choose the following words to summarise this weekends jolly japes, broken till systems, abuse, anally retentive, shouting, princess complex, entitlement dingleberry's, tears (not mine I should add), quitting, not quitting, quitting again,, speaking frankly, realising it was all just one weekend and that there are better days, as well as, some worse days ahead.

I'm still too raw to write about it. Suffice to say the weekend was an absolute nightmare. But I ask you, the great unwashed of the bloggosphere, what the fuck goes on in a customers head that makes them think it's acceptable to shout and mess themselves over a late bread portion or wrongly ordered sweet? I mean really lose it in the worst sort of way. Making teenage girls cry is the job of teenage boys, and Justin Timberlake. Grown adults should know better and act accordingly.

Maybe someday, in the future, when the injuries and emotional scars have healed I can give you all a full account. Time is a healer they say. I hope so. Until then the twin medicines of hand rolled tobacco and authentic English Cider will take the pain away. I'm too mangled to write. So here is the weekend in pictures.

The law of sod says that things that are essential
to the job will only breakdown on Ba
nk Holiday Weekends.

This weekends customers were mainly mental whack jobs
It's what happens when people with kids have to suffer a long weekend together.

Causing them to do this

and this over a God Damn late portion of bread

Like this young lady,
Sunday suffered because a lack of support which eventually lead to...

...which is not cool, big, brave or in any way called for
you fucking small cocked little shite.

Beer and fags takes the pain away
but it isn't the only solution....

the waiters new uniform
"Now, who was complaining about their bread?"

Q: Why did the manager cross the road?
A: It wasn't busy on the other side, duh!

12 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Troika said...

No offence mate, but if my fucking bread turns up late I'm gonna make some cunt cry.

And I have an enormous dick.

paddy said...

Sounds like you've had a worse time of it than me: "did you hear the one about"...piss off and leave me alone says manuel. Dealing with the public; man it's another world; people just dont realise. "A thankless job"- so to speak - no doubt some of them need a good clatter on the ear on the way out - presented with a smile and a hearty- "do come again!".
Y:-) Paddy.

Conortje said...

Sorry to hear - just remember that all those arsehole crapologists will get their comeuppance one of these days - what goes around comes around. In the meantime cider and fags are a good idea!Take care of yourself! And make sure Little miss Manuel is especially good to you.

Old Knudsen said...

I get a hard on when I make people cry.

You work in the Duke Hotel right?

ellie said...

I have a cnfession to make, I am the dreaded of all dreaded ... a doctor's receptionist. Want to swap jobs for a week? You can have the junkies I will do the bread orders.

Fat Sparrow said...

I dunno, Manuel.... I was a waitress for a few years, back in the day, and I never had a single complaint.

I guess it's easier if you have huge tatas and and a low-cut uniform.

Charlie said...

Sounds like a case of "we dont care if we lose our jobs, we're quitting anyway, just get the fuck out!" hehehe Put that on yer bread and smoke it

Manuel said...

troika: oh you'll get your bread alright, bread, spit, and if youre really luck the sweat of my big hairy nads.

Paddy: the voice of reason, as always

Conortje: Karma is a bitch! As for LMM I havent sen the precious one in days what with all the freaking hours i've been working.

Old K: cunt. Dukes? Hell no. But I did have my wedding reception there, and my divorce celebration too

ellie: sweet deal!

fat sparrow: I have a massive pork loin and am not affraid to show/use it when i need to get my cash up.

Charlie:very well put sir, very well indeed.

whyioughtta said...

I'll never understand the concept of abusing people who can easily and clandestinely (word?) spit in /snot on / poison your food.

Manuel said...

WIO: A threat that is very rarely carried outbut we have the power....

whyioughtta said...

Just the thought is enough to keep me in line...

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