You can reach me, go on give it a try

Go ahead tardy

make Manuel's day...

[There is more swearing again today. I'm sorry...]

"You can reach me by rail way
You can reach me by trail way
You can reach me on an airplane
You can reach me with your mind

You can reach me by caravan
Across the desert like a Arab man
I dont care how you get here
Just get here if you can

You can reach me by sail boat
Find a tree swing rope to rope
Take a sled and sly down slope
Into these arms of mine

You can jump on a speed boat
Across the border in a blazer role
I dont care how you get here
Just get here if you can

There are hills and mountains between us
Always something to get over
If I had my way surely youd be closer
I need you closer

There are hills and mountains between us
Always something to get over
If I had my way surely youd be closer
I need you closer

You can win something to my like
Take me up on a carpet ride
You can make it in a big balloon
But you better get here soon

You can reach me by caravan
Across the desert like a Arab man
I dont care how you get here
Just get here if you can

I need you right here right now
I need you here by my side
I dont care how you get here
Just get here if you can"
(Anita Baker- You can reach me)

And if you can't get here just bloody phone me. To embarrassed to talk to me? Leave a message. Hell, email me. Send a text message. There are a myriad of ways you can get a message to me, this is the age of communication after all.

JUST DON'T NOT SHOW UP YOU FUCKING FUCK FUCKS.

I hold grudges like mothers hold babies, that is to say very close and forever. I keep a list you know, of repeat offenders. You don't want to be on that list in my little black diary of miscreants and tardy bastards. You cant ever be erased, there is no way back into my heart. Abandon me once shame on you, abandon me twice shame on me, abandon me 3 times and you're on the list and forever. Even bad tippers can win my affection again, but no-show-ers and the repeatedly late are scorned for eternity.

Here are the reasons why I'm so chuffing angry today...

Friday

1. Table x 5 at 8.15pm, no show
2. Table x 6 at 9pm, no show
3. Table x 4 at 7pm, no show

Saturday

1. Table x 20(twenty for fuck sake, on a Saturday night!) at 8pm, no show

Sunday

1. Private party booking for 40 people at 8pm, no show

Tuesday, and this is the one that hurts the most

1. Table x 45 French Pensioners at 1pm, NO FU-CK-ING SHOW, J'espère que vous êtes heureux vous les merdes françaises sales!

All tables were confirmed, all tables told me they would be here, that they were looking forward to being here. Lying, good for nothing, rude bastards...

I'm off work on Wednesday, which is a very good thing. Any more of this sort of nonsense and you will be watching me live on BBC NEWS 24 taking pot shots at passers by from the roof of the restaurant. Oh and thanks to those who voted, and if you haven't yet get a move on...