What's that noise?

I went back to work on Monday fearing that I would hear the dreaded crunching of egg shells as my chums tippy toed round me. I'm prone to emotional outbursts at the best of times but given the current situation I would have understood if they were a touch wary of me. I didn't need to worry. I wasn't back five minutes but I was being regaled with the usual fantastic tales of woe and magnificent accounts of customer uncouthness and hideousness. Oh how I missed the humdrum yet reliable hideousness and uncouthness of customers. Bless their little open mouths.

The best of these stories was the lovely woman who ordered lovely tuna and then poured lovely creamy pepper sauce all over it. This was washed down with expensive Chablis. Waiters peered from behind plant pots and and through the cracks in the velvet curtains as she gulped it down, one fishy peppery forkful after the other. Pepper sauce? With tuna? It's just so wrong. I mean who does that?

Cheers for all the well wishes and what have you. Normalish order will return with a proper post on Wednesday.