This one's for Manuel.....
I had a really cute four top in for dinner on Thursday night, two cute girls with two cute boys. They were so cute they could have been LOL Cats. Turns out they were a band, the guitars gave it away. In they traipsed, as musicians tend to do, all I'm in a band sort of attitude. Their necks were unable to support their huge heads of hair as they all held them to one side they way most bands in the mid 90's did. (Ride, Charlatans, etc) They had their best gig clothes on and were ready for a night of rock and quite possibly roll. Or as it turned out, acoustic folk. Bless their sensitive little souls.
corduroy n roll.....They had completed their soundcheck at the venue and had popped into my place for some pre-gig nosh. They nearly shit a plectrum when I presented them the menu, the prices are set not for lovely indie kids but rather for the parents of lovely indie kids. I got them their two diet cokes and jug of water though. They were timid to the point of being annoying. But damn it I was in a good mood and dropped my snootier than thou attitude and let them order two starters and two mains to share between the four of them. I'm all fucking heart.
But I didn't want them going back to the gig venue with their confidence all shattered and upset, I have an ability to shatter confidence. I'm not proud of that. So I engaged them in some conversation. I figured I wouldn't be getting much of a tip so they owed me a moments amusement. Musicians never tip well. That said I did serve the Minnesotan band Low a few years ago who, despite their deathly name and slowcore music, actually tipped high.
So stating the obvious I opened with, "You guys in a band then?"
"Yeah man." Answered the chap who was obviously the lead singer, he had the "best" hair.
"And what sort of stuff do you do?"
They looked at each other and then the other boy with the Thurston Moore haircut and sporting a Sonic Youth t-shirt said, "It's like eh.....you know.....acoustic stuff man.....with eh....you know eh....folk sort of .......eh eh....eh.....influences." It took him about a minute to say that.
"Nice." I opined that he was the band's bad guy, no stranger to the world of whacky backy.
Maaaaaaan.
The ladies weren't much better. But one helpfully added, "It's like bits of Dylan and Van Morrison with Duke Special. Yeah that's what it's like." There was nodding all round. It was like they had just decided that that was their sound.
Getting a bit animated the lead boy jumped in to say that they were doing it "their way though, for the new millennium."
I was biting my hand to stifle the tears. But they were so cute and almost innocent I listened along. I was given various MySpace addresses to check them out on but if I don't write things down straight away I forget. But after a while it did get more than a bit dull and I palmed them off to one of the new waiters. But as they left they gave me cute waves and one of the dudes told me my name would be on the guest list later if I wanted to check them out.
How sweet.
But wait, there was sweeter still to come. Not a tip though. As I waited for my taxi home I got a text message from a friend who was at the gig to tell me that the band had dedicated a song to me, apparently their best song.
Awwwwwwwwwwhhhhhh. I was chuffed. I turned to the chef who was standing beside me who replied, "Fuck dat, you cant buy a pint with that."
Best tip in ages......
But I didn't want them going back to the gig venue with their confidence all shattered and upset, I have an ability to shatter confidence. I'm not proud of that. So I engaged them in some conversation. I figured I wouldn't be getting much of a tip so they owed me a moments amusement. Musicians never tip well. That said I did serve the Minnesotan band Low a few years ago who, despite their deathly name and slowcore music, actually tipped high.
So stating the obvious I opened with, "You guys in a band then?"
"Yeah man." Answered the chap who was obviously the lead singer, he had the "best" hair.
"And what sort of stuff do you do?"
They looked at each other and then the other boy with the Thurston Moore haircut and sporting a Sonic Youth t-shirt said, "It's like eh.....you know.....acoustic stuff man.....with eh....you know eh....folk sort of .......eh eh....eh.....influences." It took him about a minute to say that.
"Nice." I opined that he was the band's bad guy, no stranger to the world of whacky backy.
Maaaaaaan.
The ladies weren't much better. But one helpfully added, "It's like bits of Dylan and Van Morrison with Duke Special. Yeah that's what it's like." There was nodding all round. It was like they had just decided that that was their sound.
Getting a bit animated the lead boy jumped in to say that they were doing it "their way though, for the new millennium."
I was biting my hand to stifle the tears. But they were so cute and almost innocent I listened along. I was given various MySpace addresses to check them out on but if I don't write things down straight away I forget. But after a while it did get more than a bit dull and I palmed them off to one of the new waiters. But as they left they gave me cute waves and one of the dudes told me my name would be on the guest list later if I wanted to check them out.
How sweet.
But wait, there was sweeter still to come. Not a tip though. As I waited for my taxi home I got a text message from a friend who was at the gig to tell me that the band had dedicated a song to me, apparently their best song.
Awwwwwwwwwwhhhhhh. I was chuffed. I turned to the chef who was standing beside me who replied, "Fuck dat, you cant buy a pint with that."
Best tip in ages......
