Hic....

My boss, The Glorious Leader, seems to think it's okay to get his waiters half tanked and then send them out to work. I think he is recording us for one of those funniest home video type shite programmes. Either that or he has badly estimated our capacity to take large amounts of wine in quick succession. We had had wine tasting before shift this afternoon. I cant cope. Don't get me wrong your worst day tasting wine is still marginally better than your best day waiting tables but still it's tougher than you'd think.

Will anybody fall for that? Is there any sympathy?

Now I know that you aren't meant to guzzle it like you have just completed a marathon, but when someone hands you a very expensive bottle of red you tend to get a bit greedy. I wasn't sure as to it's qualities so I just had to reach for another snifter. One has to be sure. Ahem, I'm all about the customer satisfaction you know.

I knew I had over done it when I couldn't complete a fairly straight forward sentence, "Mmmmmm hints of plumps and snoranges and maybe......what? What you laughing at?" I was going for plums and oranges apparently. Still I was as sober as Moses in comparison to our Young Clark Kent. He was talking like a washing machine after 25 minutes. And he was loud too. The boss was trying to give us the back story to each of the wines - the wine maker, the terrain, label explanation and what have you when young superman shouted,

"JAMMY, IT'S REALLY JAMMY. JAM JAM JAM JAM."

It was indeed quite a jammy wine but he was very vociferous about it, a little too vociferous. The room burst into fits of laughter and all control was lost. It was like a night out by this point, all we need now was some music, a smoking area, and probably a burger or two (or jam sandwich). Calm and decorum was returned when young superman excused himself to go to the bathroom. Booze really is his kryptonite.

I excused myself before the end so I could get the restaurant open for dinner. I also necked two espressos and a pint of water. Didn't really help. I still greeted the first table like long lost friends and had lost the ability to control my volume.

"OH HOW YOU DOING? TABLE FOR TWO IS IT?" I shouted at the rather bemused couple. It was all I could do not to rub my hand down the lady's face and tell her she was my best friend ever.

I do that when I'm drunk.

I regained composure after a a while and then got a headache. By the end of the night I was swearing to all the super best friends, god, allah, buddha, Larry David that I would never ever drink so much during wine tasting again.

Nonsense of course. Roll on January and our next change!

************

For what it's worth the highlights were,

The Woodstock Cabernet Sauvignon 2004. From the moment you open this bottle you know it's a winner, your nose is immediately aware of it's berry and herb like tones. It's dark and rich in colour and a joy to taste. Forget the cheese, snap a bar of good chocolate and settle in for an enjoyable wet summer night.

Pascal Bouchard Chablis. I haven't enjoyed Chablis in years preferring instead the new Rieslings and of course my new discovery Txacloi but this is just superb. It has a wonderful hint of cinnamon and has a mineral like background. I also found an almost creamy taste to it too. Great with seafood. But not jam sandwiches of course, unless you are superman of course.