The Management

Worst boss ever! No sense of humour and dished out written warnings out like confetti.

Manager: The career goal of every employee too useless or lazy to do any real work (from urban dictionary)

It appears the management at work do not like being referred to as the "management". I'm not sure what the reasons for their dislike at this particular moniker are. God, I hope its not because "we are all one team" or other such bed wetting hand holding tree hugging sort of crap. That would be so depressing. Because, until we earn the same we are on very different teams. You have a bmw, I have a bmx. To be fair they aren't a bad bunch but I dont want them coming into the staff room to see how things are at grassroots, or to touch base, or touch anything. They have a lovely office to hang out in, sorry I mean work in.

Mangers come in a number of different styles, from the psychotic and insecure to the wet and malleable. I like my managers out of the way until I need them. The best managers are the ones that let you get on with your work without the need to micro manage every minute detail. The worst are the wet ones who cant make a decision to save themselves or me as the case maybe. My favourite manager/boss was a right mentalist. He loved his narcotics! Oh how he loved his narcotics. He wore a mask for a week once, one of those deviant sort masks from "EYES WIDE SHUT", just for the hell of it. The look of horror on the customers faces! Priceless! If he found a song that he liked he would play it repeatedly, "SHE" by Elvis Costello was played 20/30 times in a row one day. I twitch when I hear it now. But he had a passion for the job and cared about the cheesecake and other details. Whilst he was fretting about the cheesecake the cafe could have been burning down though. He went to rehab and is all better now. I miss the old him.

So if they don't like being referred to as the management what else can we call them, apart from the obvious.

1. Office monkeys (this is were they spent most time!)
2. Pen pointers (used as penis extensions)
3. Key janglers (the bigger the bunch of keys, the bigger their insecurties)
4. Boss/Chief (only when you need a Saturday off or have fucked up)
5. Seagull (arrives out of nowhere, shits on you, then disappears)

All other suggestions will be greatly received.