Tuesday, 5 May 2009

What's that noise?

I went back to work on Monday fearing that I would hear the dreaded crunching of egg shells as my chums tippy toed round me. I'm prone to emotional outbursts at the best of times but given the current situation I would have understood if they were a touch wary of me. I didn't need to worry. I wasn't back five minutes but I was being regaled with the usual fantastic tales of woe and magnificent accounts of customer uncouthness and hideousness. Oh how I missed the humdrum yet reliable hideousness and uncouthness of customers. Bless their little open mouths.

The best of these stories was the lovely woman who ordered lovely tuna and then poured lovely creamy pepper sauce all over it. This was washed down with expensive Chablis. Waiters peered from behind plant pots and and through the cracks in the velvet curtains as she gulped it down, one fishy peppery forkful after the other. Pepper sauce? With tuna? It's just so wrong. I mean who does that?

Cheers for all the well wishes and what have you. Normalish order will return with a proper post on Wednesday.

15 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Medbh said...

Bad manners are a great distraction, for sure.
I didn't know they still even made chablis! I thought that died with the 80s.

Stay strong, Manuel

Betty said...

Much love, Manuel.

Sorry, not cool? Fucken lame-ass fools then! They will keep a special place in hell for their gastronomically ignorant ways!

wendy said...

Chablis, pepper sauce and tuna.

That's a #2 special, isn't it?

daisyfae said...

a reminder that life - and bad table manners - endure. did the chef see this? might have been even more entertaining...

savannah said...

how is it that three lovely things can become such a mess together, sugar? ;) xoxox

LMBO here because wv is: folly

Boxer said...

Normalish is good when things are topsy turvy.

MJ said...

Normalish?

If I may quote the waiter...

"Thank fuckity."

Jimmy Bastard said...

The favour you wanted?

Manuel said...

medbh: cheers Medbh, eight hours sleep really bloody helps too.....!

betty: the should spend eternity being stoned by people throwing asparagus and snails and that sort of thing..!

wendy: in every sense of the word....

daisyfae: the chefs don't care enough.....

savannah: how appropriate.....

boxer: exactly-ish

mj: making up words.......it's what I do......forreals

jimmy:: never worry Jimmy son....

Datsuncog said...

Anyone who uses pepper sauce like that only deserves to get tuna from a tin. I hope it repeated on her like buggery.

Thinkin of you, man.

Manuel said...

Datsuncog: repeats at both ends I hope......cheers dude

Red said...

Sounds like my mother being adventurous in the kitchen....2 words, garlic turnip...NIIICE!
Thinking of you

Belfast Barista said...

Hmm maybe she fancies herself the as the Belfast Blumenthal? :)

Dave said...

That's nearly as bad as eating a sausage roll with red sauce!

Anonymous said...

When I was in catering, I watched a woman butter a whole piece of pie. She then proceeded to steal the whip off the other pieces of pie preset at the other places at her table and pile it all on her buttered pie. Watching her eat it was almost an invitation to an eating disorder.