Friday, 15 May 2009

It's a bloody good job I don't live in South Carolina...

Meh. Thursday was so meh I was irascible all day. Irascible and crestfallen. Where has the sun gone? Where are the early signs of summer? I blame the credit crunch and politicians. They seem fair game at the moment. But then as I saw the curry shaped light of freedom and home I became rather chipper again. This chipper moment didn't last long as a table of 20 managed to squeeze and sneak their way into the restaurant not five minutes before we were due to close. The curry shaped light of home was snuffed out in an instance. I blamed myself at first for not doing the right thing (for the waiters and chums of waiters) by just saying we were closed. Damn my indecision and constant desire to be liked. I'd really rather be unpopular and at home than much loved and at work.

But meh, what ya gonna do?

I directed much narkiness and snarky comments at the late, very late, table of 20 and played the hero for quite a while until I realised they weren't really noticing/falling for it. So I just gave up and accepted that huffing and puffing wasn't really gonna get me to my big bowl of post work curry any quicker. I am so growing everyday, maturing if you will. As much as I wanted to both hit and shout at them I didn't. If I am being truly honest I just wanted to cry on them. I wanted them to know that their presence angered me and was keeping me from where I wanted to be and with what I wanted to eat. But you cant go around crying and huffing on punters, even if they really do deserve it.

Not that all waiter think as rationally as me. No some waiters really do go a step too far. Waiters like 29-year-old Yakeisha Ward. She got so pissed with one of her guests, not sure if they are called guests in a waffle house, that she went to her truck, retrieved her gun and damn well shot the guest that was annoying her. Allegedly that is.

Now obviously not even I can condone such behaviour but still it must have been a hoot. I mean imagine the look on the customer's face when faced with a waiter pissed off at your complaints of slow service. Ha, oh how I would love to do that, just once. I wouldn't want to kill someone but maybe just graze them a bit. That would put the whining out of them.

I'd stand over them in a Dirty Harry pose, "So, my service is slow then is it? Explain yourself?"

Ha, what japes. Still shooting the guest is never cool and bound to put a dent in your tips.....

26 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

MJ said...

T-shirts in Yakeisha's image must be made up pronto and handed out free to all the waiters of the world.

Manuel said...

mj: huzzah....what a tremendous idea...! and bumper stickers too...WWYWD? arf

Belfast Barista said...

Hehe I did once tell an asshole customer who was ranting in my face to "Sit down, shut up, drink your coffee then get out."
All the other customers clapped and cheered.
Ahh it was wonderful.

Manuel said...

little victories......it's all we ask/hope for eh my barista chum..little victories

ellie said...

In her defence, a crowded restaurant at 4.30 am. Anyone would crack.

Medbh said...

The problem with Ward's response is that at the end, she gets taken out in cuffs as the asshole guests watch.
I wouldn't give them that satisfaction or power over me.

Manuel said...

ellie: i know! if i was serving at 4.30am it would be more than the guests getting shot

medbh: so very true...

daisyfae said...

i think permanently embedding the stabbing fork in a bad customers thigh is better - a constant reminder to the offender, and others, that waiters are people too. sometimes cranky people, with stabbing forks...

Pete in AZ said...

Wouldn't a better line be: "Do ya feel lucky, punk? Well... Do ya?"?

silverstar98121 said...

From what I read, the guest gave as good as she got. Probably was justifiable wounding. I think they both should have been arrested, and in Seattle, they would have been.

Old Knudsen said...

Not to be racist or anything 'those' people are always getting into trouble ......... and the Whitehoose. I hope they throw the book at her as irresponsible gun owners get our automatic weapons taken from us and before you know it carrying a box cutter is an offense ...... like in the UK.

WTF? kind of name is Yakeisha, it sounds like someone puking into a toilet

sugarpie said...

The patron flung her waffle at the waitress and only got grazed? And only the waitress ends up in cuffs? Where's the fairness in that?

If someone threw a waffle at me, I can guarantee some Rob Zombie retribution would be dished out. Those waffles sting, man.

Customers...there's no pleasing them.

The Hangar Queen said...

She doesn't look too worried in the mug shot does she?

Kind of a rueful "wish I was a better shot" edge to that smile though.

toast said...

waffle waitress eh?

any truth that a conversation about a customers reading matter preceeded this? - bill hicks fans better pay heed to this

Manuel said...

daisyfae: ah how I love the stabbing fork......
Pete in Az: no......and I have a gun here so......I know you agree

silverstar: I think you are probably right...

old k: i have a raging horn for some meaty gun control.....

sugarpie: would makem for a good slogan though....."Customers, you cant shoot 'em!"

the hangar queen: oh no.... she looks way pleased with herself.....

toast: bill hicks? meh....there i've said it...

Belfast Barista said...

It just goes to show how shittily coffeeshop and serving staff are treated over there.
If I ever own my own coffeeshop I'm gonna find the biggest, oldest rustiest fork and mount it in a wooden plaque, titled -'The Stabbing Fork- reserved for those who forget their manners'

Maybe paint some red paint on the prongs...hmmmm *ponders the possibilities*

*Muahaha*

bitsofeverything said...

LMAO. That is SO Waffle House.

Native Minnow said...

I always knew that strange things went down at the Waffle House. That's the strangest I've heard though.

savannah said...

sugar, at 4:30 in the morning in the south, trust me, anything can and does happen! ;) xoxo

Waiter Extraordinaire said...

I worked for this guy once who was not your people person. He would have told them to show up earlier , we're closed. If anyone was hanging around after we were closed he would walk up to them and hand them his keys and ask them do you mind closing we are going home. I loved that!

Kathy said...

Man, I wish I had a nickel for every time I thought about shooting a customer. I would have retired LONG ago! But like Miss Savannah said, at 4:30 AM in the South, anything can and will happen! Never piss off your server at the Waffle House! They are not scared of jail! lol

Stephan said...

Reminds me of the old joke:
What has six tits and four teeth? 3rd shift at Waffle House!

I wonder if there's a defense fund we could contribute to for poor Yakeisha.....

Boxer said...

I love the word "meh".

more reasons not to leave the house.

waxydan said...

Im going to announce an international Yakeisha Tip your Waiter day. I love her smirk in the photo; she must have felt great :)

Penelope_CA said...

what's the world coming to nowadays when flinging waffles only gets ya a butt-load of birdshot!?! *tsk*

Anonymous said...

for our reader across the Pond when you work in a Waffle House you have hit rock bottom. By American standards the places are tiny -the parking lot is 4-5X as large as the restaurant. Its an open kitchen greasy spoon that serves breakfast 24hrs and chock full of chain smokers so bad that your clothes will reek as if you were in a bar for hours in the time it takes to get n eat your meal.

I do believe some food was thrown at or onto the server. And the gun got drawn after a scuffle in the place and out in the parking lot.