Friday, 20 March 2009

This week I was mostly...

This week I was mostly exhausted and had very little time or energy for anything else other than whinging about being tired. It's been quite a week for all the Waiter Chums and Chums of Waiters what with St. Patrick's Day and St. Lionel of Richie's two days and all the shenanigans, malarky, and tomfoolery associated with both. That said the Lionel Richie crowd aren't really much of a problem what with them mainly all being like at least 68 years old. Malarky from these folks tends to come in the shape of a slightly suggestive seat wiggle and the wearing of jaunty shirts. But I really do like the Lionel Crowd, they are easy, easy like a Sunday morning. Eh eh, didn't see than coming did ya? And in terms of concert going crowds they are the most generous. I think they are just happy to be out of the retirement home for the evening.

This week I was mostly smirking as the boss was rallying the troops in preparation for St. Patrick's Day service. But alas the troops could not be rallied. It's hard to motivate people sometimes, especially when the odds are so stacked against us. There were potentially hundreds and hundreds of customers and so few of us. He tried channeling the spirit of old Braveheart himself, William Wallace, and the speech he gave before the many clans of Scotland went into battle against the old enemy. It was all blood, guts, and glory. Not sure it entirely worked as I over heard Waiter Chum Number Three mutter, "Why cant we be the English instead?". Heh, made me giggle.

This week I was mostly in fear for my special relationship. Little Miss Manuel, who had taken a day off from uniting needy kids with the cash of their absent and no doubt shoddy fathers had suggested a walk along the beach. This worried me as the last time I went for a walk along a beach with a woman it was to deposit an unwanted cat. Was I to end up like poor old Guido the fat ginger cat who couldn't control it's toilet habits and find myself alone on a beach wondering what time someone was going to come back for me? I gotta be honest with you, that's the sort of news I can take over the phone. So needless to say I was worried.

But when she arrived round she suggested lunch first and a walk second. I correctly surmised all was well as intending dumpers rarely take the dumpee out for lunch first. And I have much experience as the dumpee. Anyhoo we ate lunch, which was jolly pleasant, at Apartment and then we collected Little Miss Manuel's family dog and went for an afternoon's jolly up the beach.

It was all very wind swept and interesting and I enjoyed nodding smugly at/with all the other people who were enjoying the beach on a Wednesday afternoon whilst the rest of the populous was working. But by fuckery was I shattered by the time we had got to the end of said beach. I longed to be at home twittering and eating twisters, both regular and mini. Actually what I really longed for was a bus to get us back to where the car was parked. No such bus/rickshaw service is available on the beach at Helen's Bay. I shall be writing forthwith to North Down Borough Council to see what services they do provide for the larger and lazier chap who finds themselves way too far out of their happy place.

I jest. The trip to the beach was sweet and lovely and it makes me ache for the summer and the three possibly four good days of unbroken sunny weather we normally get. But the journey home was less sweet and lovely than one would have hoped for as Little Miss Manuel made Sooty the dog and I sit in the back of the car as, "you are wet and smell". I'm still not sure which of us she was talking to.

Have a good weekend. It's Mother's Day on Sunday, don't be upsetting her and forgetting about it. Sake, she is your mam after all.

Ta ta.

23 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Medbh said...

We take the dogs to the beach every week so they can run off leash where it's legal.

Why the fuck there were several cyclists coming through is beyond me. When Kima went after one, the husband explained to the guy that you can expect trouble in a designated off-leash area if you're on a bike.
It's like doggie heaven otherwise.

Manuel said...

medbh: oh medbh it was such fun....doggie heaven? my heaven too chasing after her and what have you...wants one of my own so much.....

Conan Drumm said...

Had me worried there for a moment. Did you do some jolly panting together on the back seat?

ellie said...

What a wonderful Wednesday. Sausage and mash in the Apartment is heavenly. You and LMM could have called in for a coffee as I was off work too and I'm sure you almost passed my door on the way to Helen's Bay.

Sharon said...

Jeez man you should have called in for tea and cake!

toast said...

thats a lovely post... more posts of lovely thats what we need. The lionel richie crowd, thats good but i have just come in from a James Morrison gig (i know, i know, but the gigs choose me right now) and i don't think i have ever been in the company of such a polite and well mannered audience - a GG Allin revival is in order i think

Jill said...

So when I was slaving away in a filthy office with filthy hippies you were lol'ing it up on a beach with your bird and a dog? Life is so unfair.

Anonymous said...

Keep walking you fat get

Nathan said...

Ditching cats on Beaches is both BAD and WRONG. I am tutting and TISKING.

Waiter Extraordinaire said...

That's right your mother's day is in March and ours is in May. Have a good one working that day.

English Mum said...

Oh, poor Guido...I wonder if he's still wandering and wondering...

I couldn't let Bert off the lead because he has a very teeny peanut brain and absolutely no sense of recall. He'd just run and run until he realised there was just him and some fat ginger cat left on the beach...

Guido said...

Halp! Lost on beach! meow, who you calling fat, fat boy?

MJ said...

I'll chase you with a pointy stick, poking at your fat bottom.

Stephan said...

Blech....got dumped once after being taken out for lunch. Totally unexpected and unpleasant. But glad I didn't tell you before you went out with LMM, or you might have been all paranoid. Cheers!

Sassy Sundry said...

I'm glad you didn't get dumped, and I hope you recover from the week.

You made me miss the beach. Perhaps it's time to take a little trip.

Happy Spring!

Native Minnow said...

Her suggestion for a walk on the beach, which then turned into a LONG walk on the beach must be some sort of master plan to do something about your self-described portliness. Heh.

Native Minnow said...

I'm glad she didn't leave you behind like an unwanted pet.

Killer said...

The town was chave cental on St Patricks.

Boxer said...

Have a restful weekend, Dear Manuel.

Manuel said...

I am getting really really lazy at replying to comments and intend to address this next week.....nathan, I dumped her a bit after that.....but not on a beach

Judith B said...

Is it common in your part of the world to abandon unwanted pets? Is there no RSPCA in Ireland?

Manuel said...

judith b: it never really happened....just a bit of dramatic license.....ta ta

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