Tuesday, 27 January 2009

Measure your success in shelves not trophies or awards...

I was off work for four days last week. I deserved it, a little treat for Manuel, a little well earned me time. Me me me me. Lovely. I was supposed to have used the time to catch up on the many projects, half assed ideas, and laundry that constantly occupy my mind and the entire left hand side of my bedroom. Instead I sat about scratching what didn't need scratched and poking things that required no poking. I did manage though to put up two sets of shelving one of which is still attached to the wall. Some men measure their triumphs and successes against the climbing of mountains and the running of races, not me. I count success in the amount of shelves I can get to stay on a wall. And fifty percent is a pass, with honours, in this house.

Like I say I had a very productive week planned. Planned, being the operative word, but not executed. I spend a good half a day just writing a to do list. Instead I got sidetracked by bloody Twitter. I was considering alternatives to the "micro blogging and social networking site" and it's one line question, "What are you doing?" This diverted my mind from the more important tasks at hand. I should have been toiling on my magnum opus but instead I was giggling to the thought of Flutter and it's one line question, "What are you betting on?"

Obviously this amused me for the rest of the afternoon...
  1. Admitter - What did you do? Come clean on the world wide web!
  2. Blatter - Who did you hit? A thugs only site where they can send pictures recorded on their cell phones of their latest victims.
  3. Fatter - What are you stuffing in your pie hole? Aimed at cake and sausage roll enthusiasts.
  4. Forgetter - What was it again? Cant remember what I was thinking about with this one.
  5. Ratter - Who did it? Name and shame!
  6. Shatter - What did you smash? A site to post picture of stuff you just broke, it's the sister site to Admitter.
  7. Nutter - What are you doing standing in the street naked? A way for nut jobs and mentalists to record their zany activities.
  8. Jotter - What are you writing on? A site where Moleskin fans can fight it out with Rhodia fans. A very sad place if you ask me.
  9. Boycotter - Where are you not shopping? Has Primark's use of child labour forced you out of the shop? Share that fact here.
  10. Regretter - Why are you red faced? But remember it's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't. Unless of course it was Small Bob from accounting.
  11. Bitter - What have you won recently? Just for Manchester City fans.....Arf!
In the end I got very little writing done and wasted another half day trying to re-work the Twitter logo to read "Fatter" but all to no avail. So come Thursday night I was a right grumpasaurus. Actually a grumpasaurus sounds like a lovable character in a Julia Donaldson novel, I was not a lovable character. I was mean and moody and really rather bellicose.

So if someone wants to give me $20/30m to get these projects off the ground then my week wouldn't have been a complete waste of time. Anyone? How's about £5k then? Seriously....

If you want to follow me on Twitter and waste more of my precious time then click here...

20 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Native Minnow said...

This post was awesome! If you need help coming up with logos for any of these (you know, if you get that 20-30M to get them up and running), let me know.

ninetyninewords said...

Puker, only operates at the weekends in the wee hours complete with misspelled text messages most of which say "you're my best mate".

Manuel said...

minnow: oh yeah first sign of 20/30m and you're interested.....seriously if I do get 20/30m I'll fly over with a set of crayolas and let you design anything you want....

Manuel said...

99 words: hehehehehe quality

Medbh said...

I avoid the to-do list because then when you don't do it you have evidence reminding you.

Manuel said...

medbh: ha! but I'd be lost without one.....lost I tells ye!

savannah said...

*sigh*

Waiter Extraordinaire said...

Manuel I am not much for a to do list.I just try to do what I like and leave the rest to others that like doing what I don't. If that makes any sense at all. The only good thing is I get better at what I like to do but remain completely hopeless at other things I don't do.Like putting up shelves.

silverstar98121 said...

Now following you on Twitter, wasting more time for both of us.

MJ said...

My first attempt at building shelves ended in the domino effect. One fell and crashed the rest of them down.

So I tried again and stood back to admire my work.

Every shelf was on a slight diagonal instead of straight.

Now I get the houseboys to do my DIY.

Red said...

Poking things? Like what exactly? Sounds like some good you time!!

Manuel said...

savannah: every time you sigh my chum thinks you kill a waiter angel.......hehehe

steve: do we need all these shelves? eh? really? i dont think so

silver: right back at ye...

mj: there at least ten naughty puns in that.......but I'm no Knudsen so......

red: not like that!!! bad red.....

Jill said...

What about s**tter? What have you pooped?

John Ferris said...

Manuel, talking of trophies, I see that like me you're one of a mere 26 blogs in the Irish Blog Awards '09 food and drink category. Good luck. I hope I whip your ass though.

Manuel said...

Jill: I took the high road and decided to leave that one out.......raging now though

John: best of luck to you too. Seriously though I hope to make you cry........hehehehe

Kitty Cat said...

I think I spend too much time on Facebook. When you said you poked things that didn't need poking, it was the first thing that came to mind...that can't be good.

MikeTheWaiterDotCom said...

RATTER... would be a big hit at our restaurant... got a couple of insecure waitresses who constantly are running to the boss..."michael didn't fold his allotment of napkins... michael didn't wipe down the ketchup bottles"... RAT< RAT< RAT!
Back in 2nd grade the teacher used to give the RATTER and the RATTEE the same punishment... guess these two didn't have Miss Bennett for second grade!
Peace, mTw

Conan Drumm said...

Twatter

Venture capitalists will come flocking.

Native Minnow said...

Glad to hear it. It's good to get in on the ground floor of these things.

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