Thursday, 29 January 2009

Manuel welcomes your feedback.....to a point, obviously...

I spent most of Wednesday afternoon trying to stay awake which was ironic as I had spent most of the previous night trying to get to sleep. Life's a real fucking comedian sometimes. It's always the way when you have to get up early. And I mean actual early (7.45am) and not waiter early (11am). I spent most of the night in that nowhere place between between being asleep and being awake, and I don't mean I was in the bathroom all night.

Being as I had to be up at the unwaiterly hour of 7.45 I had to go to bed at a reasonable time. So come 1am I switched off the Mac, knocked off the lights and set down my book. "The Lost Diaries of Adrian Mole 1999 - 2001" which, by the way, is just a fantastically silly read that I heartily recommend it. For me to switch off everything at 1am is like sending a kid to bed when it is still bright outside. I wasn't happy. But it wasn't just my having to get up at such an impolite hour that was playing on my mind and keeping me awake....

I was angry and getting angrier.

One of my most favourite posts, of my own, is this one about that most peculiar of species, The Real Ale Drinker. Honestly it still makes me laugh. Almost funnier again was the reaction to it. I got more emails, and continue to do so, about that particular post than any other. Most of them from Real Ale enthusiasts and plastic bag aficionados calling me names. It seems to have ruffled more than a few feathers if not beards. Seriously. Take this chap who happened by the other day....


At first I thought little of it. You aren't compelled to like what I write and you are entitled to disagree. I mean it would be a dull old world if we all got on. Why just the other day there was a chap who took umbrage at my "Seamus and the Men Who Like to Say Yaaaar" post and he made a comment to that effect. I have no problem with that at all. But the more I thought about it the more I realised that this chap, Tom Donald, is an ass hat. An ass hat and then some.

Tom says, "Hating people is so unfunny" Are you kidding me? Hating people is tremendously funny, especially when it's completely irrational and obviously in jest. I should also point out that at no point did I say I hated Real Ale Drinkers. I'm not fond of them for sure, but hate them? No, that would be too much and a waste of hate. I only have so much hate to share and I'd rather like to save what hate I have for internet dullards who CANT TAKE A FUCKING JOKE!

Sake.

But it was his parting remark that really has pissed me off, "Happy holocaust day, idiot." January the 27th is indeed Holocaust Memorial day in the UK. Is he calling me a Nazi? Because that's how I read it. He is calling me a Nazi for writing a post about beardy men who drink flat pints of pishy beer? Because that's what I think he is saying. Is he comparing my gentle lampooning and comedic invective to the party of Hitler? To the people responsible for the mass murder of over 6 million people? Because if he is then he has lost all sense of proportion assuming he had any to begin with.

Disagree with me if you want. I welcome debate. But call me a Nazi or even imply it and I will cut you right off.

Beardy twat.......(probably)

32 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

ninetyninewords said...

I believe that one way or another most people are (a little bit) fucked up. A small number of people, on the other hand, are a lot fucked up.

Can you see where I'm going with this?

Manuel said...

99 words: I got ya in one.....

Medbh said...

Get a fucking grip, Tom Donald.

Manuel, he's probably one of those mad fuckers who thinks that the Holocaust never happened if he can make light of it so flippantly.

Manuel said...

medbh: such a bull-shitty thing to say eh....massive douche syndrome...

Waiter Extraordinaire said...

I wonder what that guy actually does in his life.Makes you wonder.

daisy mae said...

i gotta say manuel, pretty classy of you not to post a gigantic link to his blog.

witchypoo said...

Fuck. You're funny. Consistently. Every day. Does it ever let up? That's my feedback.

Old Knudsen said...

What a nazi piece of writing I am a hater and I hate you and its funny I do because the reason is that yer funny and I hate competition so therefore you must die. Never make fun of real ale again or its natural counterpart diarrhea.

And don't worry about the Holocaust according to the Catholic church it wasn't that bad and why would you not believe them?

Boxer said...

"massive douche syndrome..."

hee hee. You are funny.

The Hangar Queen said...

1,000 Twat bulb!

Him..not you.

Real ale drinkers are like recumbent cyclists.They all have beards.Even the women.

sheepworrier said...

...the black waiter uniform... obeying the maddest whim of dictatorial chefs... the belief that waiters are a superior race...

Conan Drumm said...

Real alers have yeast on the brain, interferes with their reasoning. Mind you, Sheepo's on to something, look at the hairdo on yer avatar.

Anaperenna said...

Real Ale drinkers are just the Apple fanboys of the beer world.

John Ferris said...

Manuel... goes with the territory. Although it's a post you probably hated yourself my Real Ale Drinkers post was the "Why I hate waiting staff pt 1". One of my favourite comments started "Okay Dickwad..." It was a proud day - the first time I was called Dickwad on my blog was a day to remember.
You should try working in newspapers. My favourite occasion was when some grouping or other sent us a death threat but got so muddled they got the name wrong. Ooooh scary... you can't even threaten someone who works in the building.

Red Leeroy said...

yeah it's probably that bollix from my space. Manuel - keep up the sterling work all the while wading through the idiots!!!

Manuel said...

steve: sits about in his shorts eating sandwiches and posting crap on the internet.....oh you meant him? hehehehe

daisy mae: it was a fake link.....

witchypoo: stop it.......blushing

old k: nazi.....

boxer: for a nazi...sure...

the hangar queen: 1,000 Twat bulb!? love that

Crispy said...

Rise above it, Manuel. He is for sure an absolute, first class, A1 asshole. 1000 Twat Light bulb is the funniest thing I've heard in ages.

savannah said...

may he dream of the 1000 yard stare and wake with shit in his pants!

xoxo

B said...

I got two hate comments last summer, I found them hilarious, completely missed the point too.

Amazon says I should check out other Adrian Mole books instead?

Yer man's comment there is priceless though.
You're all nazis up there
...or IRA, whatever

Manuel said...

sheepo & Conan: don't get me wrong, there beats the cold black heart of a fascist within every waiter......but Nazi? not really....

Anaperena: that hurts man....just hurts.....

John: bwahahahahaha quality!

red: tom? but he's my friend......the cunt

crispy: awh cheers love....

savannah: fingers crossed

b: get em all.....I mean that....

Stephan said...

The parting shot was flawless...he is a total twat, beard or no.

MJ said...

I was angry and getting angrier.


Did your neck vein pop out?

That's when we know you're REALLY angry.

Datsuncog said...

Re. Tom's baffling statement, I suppose there's a tenuous connection there: those strict German beer purity laws wouldn't have any truck with the twigs, moss and unlucky voles which give the depth and complexity to real ale...

Maybe there should be a stamping down on people without a sense of humour reading humour blogs?

For the record, I like real ale. I developed a gag reflex against Harp sometime in my 20s. And yes, my little feelings were a smidge wounded when I first read the original post last year: "Golly gosh, I quite enjoy a foaming pint of Old Gurner's Badger Scrotum, that means lovely Manuel despises me and will curse my descendants to the seventh generation."

But that's satire, eh kids? ...keep on bloggin'.

B said...

which is good to start with, what're they like? how long are the chapters?

Bock the Robber said...

Yeah, but now that you think of it, taking the piss out of real ale drinkers is exactly the same as murdering six million people, isn't it?

Killer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Killer said...

Tom Donald is a secret nazi who wants to kill all waiters because they are better than him.

TheChrisD said...

Well that guy is obviously a retard...

Either that or he has to play a Nazi in World War II re-enactments. Probably hates them so much he wants to make other people know what it's like. Pity he fails miserably.

Michelle said...

An angry, bitter, lonely man, Tom Donald is. Or just a big douche bag. Forget him.

Babaduck said...

That sounds like the gimp we encountered up in Belfast a few weeks ago...

Queen of Denial said...

I'm not anti-semitic. I just prefer the taste of Bass.

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