Subscribe...

Thursday 18 December 2008

I need an angry dog......

"Would you sit a peace. Your father will be here in a minute" said the cross, and getting crosser by the moment, woman to her fidgety daughter. I think she meant it more in hope rather than expectation. It was half six and daddy dearest still hadn't arrived. The other daughter appeared to know, what I assumed, that daddy wouldn't be here soon.

here boy...
now bite!

They had been booked for 6pm and were in for something to eat before heading to a school carol service. The little girls were dressed in matching outfits, the sort you save for a special occasion, and the mother had clearly gone to some effort too as she looked resplendent in her best frock. They were on a tight schedule as it was and the daddy's no show wasn't helping the mother relax. She took her frustration out on her youngest who was hungry. I knew she was hungry because she kept saying it.

"I'm hungry, when we getting food. I'm hungry", she said about two thousand times.

I had refilled their drinks three times but still bad dad didn't arrive. The fucking laggard. I was trying to leave them alone as I didn't want them to feel under any more pressure but time was moving on, as it tends to do, and if they wanted to sing happy and joyous songs to celebrate jebus' birthday then they really did need to make a decision.

I approached the table with some bread and tapenade just as mother finally, and understandably, lost it. Through gritted teeth and with an angry voice bordering on shouting she exclaimed, "You'll get your dinner when your father gets here. Now sit at bloody peace."

"He's always bloody late", replied the fidgety and hungry seven year old.

"Don't you use that language with me young lady", warned the mother.

"BUT YOU SAID IT FIRST."

"Here's some bread!", I announced as if that was going to solve the case of the missing daddy. They stared at me as if I was the one that was mental but the older daughter said thanks and blobbed some tapenade on a little bit of bread for her little sister. It was sweet. The exasperated woman tried to phone him again but still he didn't answer.

"Do you want to try my phone? Just in case there is something wrong with yours?" She knew what I meant and her eyes light up as I handed it over. Seeing a different number on his mobile phone display the cunty fucker answered within three rings.

Daddy arrived five minutes later wreaking of booze and full of kisses for his little girls. They eventually ordered and I got the kitchen to rush it through. But daddy, the utter shite, insisted on ordering ice cream for his princesses, as he kept calling them. This was going to make them late and caused mother to rush to the bathroom clearly upset.

I was seething but the mother had gone past seething and on to a much darker and angrier place. By the time they left they were about twenty minutes late for the start of the carol service. The kids were giddy as they were full of ice cream and fizzy pop. Dad was giddy as he was full of whiskey and beer. Mummy wasn't so giddy as she was full of anger.

I hope the manipulative bastard gets rabies, I hope he gets rabies and fucking chokes to death on his own spit. And we have rabies in Belfast now apparently, so fingers crossed.

19 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Ms. McDermott said...

Your evil manuel, just plain evil, but I love it! Your blog always gives me a good chuckle.

By the way, how's the no smoking going? Gosh, I hope this comment doesn't make you reach for your stabbing fork!

Manuel said...

Ms McDermott: awh thanks for asking. It's going really well actually. I'm down to five threats of violence a day now.....which is nice

Jenny said...

yes, fingers crossed. I don't know who I feel more sorry for; the wife/mother or the children.

Very clever to hand her your phone, btw.

Jenny said...

p.s. bravo on the non smoking!!

Anonymous said...

I would have fed the kids, gone to the carol service, and probably divorced the fucker after the New Year. At least he didn't show up with his shirt tail untucked and smelling of cheap perfume.

Old Knudsen said...

You sneaky bugger. Isn't this a wonderful time of the year?

Anonymous said...

my cousin calls those type of sly drinks "scneaky schnakes". ie. Red we wont be late, lets pop in here for a schneaky schnake.

Anonymous said...

This post made me sad. The constantly late husband is something I'm familiar with, not because he's off drinking, but because he's doing very important work.

Sorry, didn't mean to turn your blog into a Relate forum or something.
I like your anger on the female's behalf though.

Manuel said...

behind schedule.....talk later.......bleurgh......

fatmammycat said...

What a selfish fucker. Of course if she says anything now SHE'LL be the one who is 'causing a fuss over nothing'.

savannah said...

you're a good man, sugar! xoxo

Red said...

maybe you could borrow battle cat from tuesday kid....!

Anonymous said...

What a total dickweed.....the husband, not you, of course. And, of course, the wife is just gonna look like the villain to the daughters if she calls him on it. I suggest defenestration....it can always look like the drunken bastard slipped.

GOD said...

Funny, funny, funny! "Jebus' birthday" Manny? Fucking hilarious.

Peace,

Dennis

Megan McGurk said...

Manuel, I saw sooooo much of this twisted dynamic on our trip. Daddy pleases himself or undermines the plan while mommy jumps through hoops to please the kids and her shit-for-brains husband.
Grrrr.

Anonymous said...

Great post Manuel.

carine said...

what a prick. you're a marvel manuel.

am all over the place at the minute so have a great christmas if i don't get a chance to wish you one closer to thursday.

x

The Sexy Pedestrian said...

Jeepers, merry fucking christmas. Silly to go for dinner before the carol service anyway.
I don't know how you work in a restaurant and don't smoke, it's the only link to the real world!

Anonymous said...

成人電影,情色,本土自拍, 情色聊天室, 寄情築園小遊戲, AV女優,成人電影,情色,本土自拍, A片下載, 日本A片, 麗的色遊戲, 色色網, ,嘟嘟情人色網, 色情網站, 成人網站, 正妹牆, 正妹百人斬, aio,伊莉, 伊莉討論區, 成人遊戲, 成人影城,
ut聊天室, 免費A片, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網,
美女交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人貼圖, 成人電影, A片, 豆豆聊天室, 聊天室, UT聊天室, 尋夢園聊天室, 男同志聊天室, UT男同志聊天室, 聊天室尋夢園, 080聊天室, 080苗栗人聊天室, 6K聊天室, 女同志聊天室, 小高聊天室, 情色論壇, 色情網站, 成人網站, 成人論壇, 免費A片, 上班族聊天室, 成人聊天室, 成人小說, 微風成人區, 色美媚部落格, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人論壇,
日本A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友, 本土自拍, 免費A片下載, 性愛,
成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, aV, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片,成人電影,情色,本土自拍,