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Tuesday 4 November 2008

Why you shouldn't eat horse......

Like any good son would, I phoned my Dad the night before we flew to Paris. He was full of the usual fatherly advice about watching out for sneaky pickpockets and staying safe and all that. He truly does have a mortal fear/dislike of pickpockets, particularly in Dublin. Honestly every time you cross the border you get a twenty minute lecture about keeping your valuables safe lest one of the the many many gangs of street urchins and lovable rogues makes for your wallet or pocket watch. I haven't the heart to tell him they are more likely to stab you up the ass with a less than clean syringe than pick your pocket. And that's just from the craic let alone the crack.

Anyways any street urchin/pickpocket,whether they be a Dickensian character or not, will only be disappointed if they did make a move on my pocket as I only keep half eaten mints and cigarette papers in there.

But before Dad rang off the other evening he warned me off eating any horse meat.

"Really? Why so? I was hoping to try some!" I was so disappointed.

"No, no best avoided, it will give you the trots", says he.

"Really? Sake, I'm so annoyed at that."

About twelve hours later I finally got the joke.......d'oh.

21 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Anonymous said...

There's something about the hind-quarters of a shapely horse. Not me only though, Snooky Von Sickle from "Consenting adults" , but that said, les hind quarters should be nibbled and scattered liberally with marching powder, but nibbled, only caressingly nibbled.

Bon chance as I heard in a film once, and ca va bien too.

The Mistress said...

My brother got pickpocketed in Paris on his first day there.

Listen to yer Da.

Red said...

Happy birthday Manuel. That joke sounds like something my da would roll out, and he'd be sure to tell everyone who walked in the door the joke before you did in case you'd take his "glory"

paddy said...

My little sis backpacked across three continents before finally relaxing her guard in the land of her childhood when she arrived in Dublin on St Patick's Day. Of course her bag was snatched within the first twenty four hours...

Anonymous said...

Im pretty sure my da has told that joke a few times too, tho he usually accompanies any joke with loud guffawing just so you know he made a funny.

Happy birthday btw - the pension book isn't too far away now.

Anonymous said...

lol!!! awk bless your da. bonne anniversaire!!! hope you and LMM are enjoying paris, it's a magical city, think of us all stuck on the sydenham bypass :)

fofufou said...

"Anyways any street urchin/pickpocket,whether they be a Dickensian character or not, will only be disappointed if they did make a move on my pocket as I only keep half eaten mints and cigarette papers in there."

I hope you aren't wandering around Paris wearing a bum bag...

Unknown said...

Bon chance Monsieur, et mangez pas les chevaux!

fofufou said...

Oh and to keep you updated US election wise, my mates over at Betfair have Obama at 1.06 (Putting £50 down would win you £3) and McCain at 15.5 (putting £50 would win you £725).

Megan McGurk said...

I'm jealous of the all clothes LMM can pick from in the fashionable city. I imagine the vintage clothes are particularly fabulous.

Karen said...

I just stopped by because a little birdy told me it was your birthday. Hope you are being suitably spoiled by LMM on your big day and because it's your birthday I will ignore the fact that you took so long to get such an obvious joke dear one.

The Mistress said...

Happy Birthday to my favourite Irish waiter!

Mudflapgypsy said...

Naaaaay lad.
Have a good one.

Jenny said...

I was ripped off on the train from Dover to Paris.

Hope you're enjoying your va-kay.

Trekkie said...

Not too late to wish you a Happy Birthday, am I? Hope you have a good 'un.

xxx

savannah said...

happy birthday, sugar! hope you found a place to watch the obama landslide!!! xoxo

(i'm still packing but watching the returns1)

Anonymous said...

Why you shouldn't eat horse:

A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
And no one can talk to a horse of course
That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mister Ed.

Go right to the source and ask the horse
He'll give you the answer that you'll endorse.
He's always on a steady course.
Talk to Mister Ed.

People yakkity yak a streak and waste your time of day
But Mr. Ed will never speak unless he has something to say

Old Knudsen said...

I pickpocketed some yank in Paris once, I think it was his first day there.
Horse is yummy and since the invention of the car eating them is the only destiny they have now.

Old Knudsen said...

I also ripped one off on a Yank bird on the train from Dover to Paris.

Another year closer to death lad.

Native Minnow said...

I got the joke right off that bat. Does that make me smart? Please tell me it makes me smart ;-)

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