Thursday, 18 September 2008

Judge not lest ye be judged, by me and other waiters...


Some guests are harder to serve than others, the French for example.

"You must tell ze chef that ah want ma steak rally rally ray-re. Ah cannot express dis strong-lay enough. Rally rally ray-re. Oui?"

God bless the French, food is important to them and nothing stresses then out more than an overcooked steak.

"Sir I shall ask him to cook it blue for you."

"Ah yes, bleu would be pierre-fect."

They were a fucking pain in the ass to serve what with their constant need to tell me everything two or three times.

"YES I GET IT! YOU WANT ESPRESSO NOT FILTER. Fuck up"

"Excuse moi?"

"It's coming right up."

"Oui." He knew what I meant.

On the other hand not all French are a pain in the derrière. Take the French Canadians for example.

You know who gets a bad rap? Arms dealers, that's who. That's right arms dealers, the people who sell guns to crazy African war lords and crazy, but apparently legitimate, European governments. I had a table of nine French Canadian arms manufacturers the other night. They were great fun, polite, tipped like drug dealers and didn't out stay their welcome. I wont hear a bad word said about arms dealers/manufacturers. Okay what they do for a living isn't conducive to a happy peaceful world but then again Hitler probably wouldn't have been convinced to stop by a Coke and a hug from a hippy with flowers in their hair.

And who's to say that everybody who makes, oh I dunno, fluffy bunny rabbit toys are peace loving individuals who skip to work with gusto and have cutsie posters of kittens on their bedroom walls? I've served lawyers who were cool and members of the clergy who were hate filled assholes. I've served care workers who made a colleague cry and teachers who weren't sarcastic, but this only happened once.

All I'm saying is that you can't judge people by what they do for a living. Judge them by how they tip. Isn't that what's most important?

I think so.

20 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Ed said...

Is it true that people who don't look like they've a lot of money, tip better than those who seem glam and flashy?

unrelated but... I hated when people would complain that the alcohol was too expensive and use that as an excuse not tip even though you had waded through a sea of cattle and kicked about 14 peoples heels to get those pints of filth to the table right at the back of the bar. Hello? you're not in the Venue and you're not buying some cheapshit alchopops- if you cant afford a round, then dont play big boy night out games any more!

in conclusion, yes tips speak louder than words...just maybe not more than G12 missles.

Manuel said...

not all the time, that said I used to work in a south belfast restaurant with well heeled punters who tipped for shit. Worst place I ever worked...well one of the worst.....

Silverstar said...

When I lived in the Southwestern US, you couldn't tell the cowboys from the ranch owners. They all had manure on their boots. But the cowboys tipped better.

Manuel said...

silverstar: cowboys? how cool....

Sniffle&Cry said...

Ze French gave nous, le coulture.

Les drug dealers, well, ze gave us gang wars en Limerick.

Le hate filled clergy nous donnez les peadohiles.

A waiter's gota do............

Manuel said...

sniffle & cry: oh I'll pretty much take anyones money except two timing sleaze balls.....obviously.....

Steve said...

The people who earned and deserve the money they have I find tip very well but the people who won a lotto or inherited it think they are all high and mighty so they look down on us waiters and tip like shit.The Donald Trumps tip great or so I am told and judging by the blog he wrote once on how you can judge someone by the way they tip indicates just that.
So in conclusion the people who earned their loot tip well, the people who just got lucky and came across their loot by fluke tip like shit , and the other people who tip like shit who have no money shouldn't go out and eat period! Ha

Manuel said...

steve: actually that is exactly it.....working joe's tip on the whole better than the entitled middle classes....

Anonymous Boxer said...

I met a nice woman a number of years ago... seemed nice enough and we started to become friends... until we went out to lunch/dinner a few times. She was so incredibly rude to wait staff (and was a poor tipper) that I stopped accepting her invites.

Yesterday, a salesperson came into my office... I ran up from the back to see what they needed. He looked me up and down and said with a sneer "is there a Manager here".

No, asshole, there's an owner and you're looking at her.

*sigh* I hate needing money.

Steve said...

Thanks.But you know what they say , never prejudge cause you never know who will really leave what.So we just give the same good service to everyone.
Although I have to admit when I know when I have a good table and you know it is a winner I bust my gut for them a little more.

Medbh said...

Generosity is a necessary trait to keeping your moral compass in working order. If someone's stingy with money, you can sure as shit bet that they would be unwilling to share more important emotional issues or events graciously.

bethanythemartian said...

It's not just tipping, it's how they treat you. Some people tip 15% automatically, but they're utter tits. (I'm not saying a nice person who doesn't tip is any better- I'm just saying a person can tip and still be a dick.)

Manuel said...

boxer: the fucking cheeky fucker.....grrrrrr

steve: that's it....

medbh: so very true......

bethany: yeah but sometimes it;s the all about the money.....ALL.....

Lottie said...

Hey I will not hear a bad word against the fluffy bunny rabbit toy makers!

Manuel said...

lottie: lovely people i'm sure.....

Blondefabulous said...

Mother always said pay close attention to how my dates treated the wait staff when out on a date. If they treat the waiters like crap and don't tip well, that is how I can expect to be treated after the warm fuzzies of the relationship wears off.

Mom was right too!

Heff said...

Hmmm. My Bar and Grill could use a good waiter...

Manuel said...

blondie: moms always are....

heff: Oh no I'm not man enough for your place...plus I have no beard....

Anonymous said...

I'm a Canadian who's been serving for ten years around the country and in Europe, and French Canadians are THE BEST TIPPERS!!! It's a HUGE part of their culture. In the rest of Canada - 15%. Quebec - 25% I am not French Canadian but I love them to pieces!!!

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