Thursday, 19 June 2008

Fame! I wanna wait forever.......

Thinking before you speak is a wonderful concept. Not one I follow all the time. But I really do try to engage the brain before engaging in conversation with the great dining public. Unless of course I am throwing a hissy fit/being an irrational ass. The brain tends to get switched off for a moment during such times. But like I say I generally like to give a moments consideration before speaking. But for a second time in a week I pushed it a little too far when I should just have walked away......I mean where the fuck was my brain when I engaged the table of five salsa dancers in a bit of light conversation?

"Yeah so you guys are dancers then?"

"Ah yes we are salsa dancers" replied the gruff looking Frenchman.

"Salsa eh, that must be fun then."

"Fun? Eet is not fun, okay maybe eet's a little fun, but eet is hard work."

"Kaaaaaay then, who'd a thought..."

He seemed to take offence at my casual assumption/remark that Salsa dancing was fun. This was a bit uppity for my liking. I was just chatting whilst clearing the table. Now I should have left it at that, I should have just walked away, but no I wanted to continue on with a conversation and subject I know little to fuck all about.

"You know I used to dance."

"Yeah?" They seemed more than a little dubious about this. And I can see why what with me being more raspberry pavlova than Anna.

"Oh yeah I was a ballet dancer for about three years."

"A belly dancer? A male belly dancer?" Asked the Frenchman

"Yeah a male ballet dancer." I was a bit taken aback at their reaction.

"Oh you said ballet......" and the five of them burst into laughter.

As did the manager who overheard everything, the KP who was on his way out, and a bar man who was wandering through the restaurant at the time.

"We thought you meant belly dancer!" Said the Frenchman who was heading for a sneezer if he didn't stop laughing. Then the cheeky fooker poked me in the tum tum with his pen and said,

"You'd make a great belly dancer."

There was no need for me to share my ballet dancing past with them? What sort of reaction did I think I was gonna get? Was I hoping they would ask me to join their troupe? I'm not talking to anyone else for a fucking week. I cant take anymore face slapping and belly poking.

They got the bill a moment later. Not that they asked for it.......

24 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

bendersbetterbrother said...

You're a bit old for the Billy Elliot's anyway.

And you DID walk into that one.

I bet you never though you'd end up missing the G-men and the drunk South African?

bendersbetterbrother said...

"thought". A silent and invisible t.

Manuel said...

bbb: gimme the securicrats any day......

Medbh said...

Everyone's a comedian, huh?
I bet your ballet skills come in handy to make you a graceful waiter though, Manuel.
And you have good posture, which is a fine trait.

Anonymous Boxer said...

ALL Salsa dancers like to say it's hard work.

Pfffft. Waiting on assholes is hard work.

MJ said...

I can never get used to
A waiter in a tutu

sheepworrier said...

You completely walked into that one Manuel. Infact, I think I will join the French in their derisive laughter - haw haw haw, sacré bleu!

Manuel said...

medbh: i do mince very well it has to be said...

boxer: but kicking them out comes easy.....huh!

mj: one of my favourites!!

sheepo: i didn't walk.......i danced!!

Crispy said...

I can indeed confirm that Manuel flirted with the "bar" in his youth, the big jessie, and I don't mean that which stocks Gin and fine ales!!! He was at the butt end of many a family joke, bless him. Why bring it up again, did you forget that you said you would never talk of the ballet classes again!!?
Made me laugh though!!

Manuel said...

crispy: I'm banning you from here.......

travelling, but not in love said...

That's so funny. You see why I find living amongst the French so wearisome?

Have you got any photo's of you in tights? hee hee.

Manuel said...

traveling...: you're a very sick puppy if that's what you wanna see......thing is I love the French and their Frenchy ways.....

MJ said...

Sing along...

We're men, we're men in tights.
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
We're men, we're men in tights.
We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!
We may look like sissies, but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights!
We're men, we're men in tights,
Always on guard defending the people's rights.

Manuel said...

mj: ah mel brooks........legend.......just like my time in tights......legendary....

Conan Drumm said...

Go on Crispy, tell us more! Dish the dirt! Did he plié round his bedroom and watch Come Dancing in his leg warmers?

And salsa (dancing) is great fun and fantastic excercise.

Manuel said...

conan: oi, less of it.....I like salsa too....especially with fajitas......

MJ said...

Is it true you auditioned for Les Ballets Trockadero?

Manuel said...

mj: bwahahahahahahahaha that just hurts..! I'm much prettier....!

eguinan said...

Fascinating!

Learning le ballet in Belfast as a kid must have been quite the brave thing to do (assuming you grew up in Belfast, that is).

You, ever-increasingly, rock!

Mudflapgypsy said...

So, ballet then?

Are you saying you were light on your feet for three years?

I don't know what is worse, the mental picture of you in a tutu or the one of you in the belly dancing outfit.

Maybe the belly dancer, as long as you wear bells on your toes. :-D

Blondefabulous said...

Better than a Booty Dancer, I say!

B said...

we were all made do ballet in sixth class, everyone's self-conscious paranoia peak.

d@\/ e said...

Manuel, are the rumours true that your uniform is going to be changed and you will be made to dress up as a ballet dancer to wait on the tables? ;-)

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