Thursday, 7 February 2008

I'd rather be serving than hobnobbing


I've been out with the cleaver again and decide to cut What the Waiter Knows and What the Waiter Saw from my life. I'm drowning in a treacle filled sea of work, projects, blogs, and commitments that I just don't have time for the niceties of life any more. Niceties such as a good nights sleep. This lack of shut eye has a knock on effect on everything else. I think if I moan once more to LMM about being tired that she will beat me to death, probably with the iMac at that.

I make this solemn pledge that you can all hold me to and can dish out any punishment you see fit if I break....

"I, Manuel, promise to start no new blogs for the next 6 months."

That means no
What the Waiter Saw/Knows/Eats/Listens To/Shouts At/Pokes/Votes For
or anything at all.

One waiter

One blog

That's it from now on.......sort of

***********

cock... ...neys

I'm off to London today with the Supreme Leader. Not just the Supreme Leader but with two other members of senior management. So that's 3 members of senior management and me, Manuel the waiter. I'm not even senior management in my own house, and I live on my own!

Cheeeerist!

It's gonna be one of those days of awkwardness and holding my stomach in. They'll be having important chit chat's about stuff and things and I'll be nodding along pretending I agree/know what they are on about but secretly I'll be singing the theme tune to M*A*S*H. Then there will be the tricky moments when they have to cut their conversation short because I am there and they can't discuss the really important stuff and things in front of the oik. I'm looking forward to that. There is also the super huge fucking problem that none of them smoke so none of them will worry about my smoking needs. There'll be angry blogging by this time tomorrow.

Waiters rarely have to make business trips. Why would we? The closest I normally get to any sort of travel with work is when I have to go get milk when we run short. And whilst as fun as that is I'm assuming my trip to london will be a bit more exciting. But I don't want to look like the boy from the fields who is getting a day out in town. I shall have to maintain an air of indifference and "cool."

We are up for an award and there is an interview panel as part of the judging process. I was part of the last group that was interviewed for an award, an award that we won. You see that's where I went wrong. I was good when I should have spent my time farting and asking for biscuits. I'm not joking with you, I could see this far enough. I'd rather be serving than hobnobbing. Actually I'd rather be cleaning the limescale form my bathroom wall. And I have to get up early, again. That's twice this year I have had to get up early. I'm writing to Amnesty International.

The latest RoundTable Blog Carnival is up......

18 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

bendersbetterbrother said...

Ahh, wrap up! You'll be like a kid in a sweet shop. Enjoy London for the freak show it is, take plenty of the free drink and high-fillutin' restaurants they're going to want to expose you to and take notes....for us.
Also remember to bite your tongue every now and then. A boss ratio of 3 to 1 is dangerous. Select the weakest one and split him/her away from the herd. Then sink your teeth in.

There was something else. I remember. Get them to go to Cecconi's for lunch or dinneror even breakfast. Check the service out there. Proper old Italian.

http://www.cecconis.co.uk/restaurants.php?r=CEC#1***1

ellie said...

What's it like to be the teacher's pet?
The other waiters will be spitting in your milk.

Have a great time.

Medbh said...

Have a wonderful trip and remember to have fun, Manuel.

Scaling back to one blog was the right choice. Devote all your efforts to WDF instead of spreading yourself too thin.

daisyfae said...

The technical term you are looking for? "Strategically Inept" Knowing when to totally screw the pooch to avoid future opportunities. My father was the master - an engineer who managed to break the washing machine the first time mom suggested he do his own damn laundry... Lesson learned, grasshopper?

psychicgeek.com said...

Cool! I got your badges today. Thanks ever so much. Now I have your address so I can stalk you. Well, I do have a friend who is going to Ireland, but you may not want her to stalk you, she'd expect sex and all.

Old Knudsen said...

If you go doon lambeth way any evening any day you'll see manuel, taking it up the bum oy!
Frown a lot and look intense.

How about 'What the waiter waxed?'

Manuel said...

aaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhh!!! it's so fucking early.....Oh My God it's still dark outside....what's this crap on TV? What a fucking nightmare.....

dave said...

Who are you kidding Manuel?
We all know you're off to the big smoke for cocaine and prostitutes.

sheepworrier said...

Bon voyage.
Don't talk to strangers, bring a fresh pair of pants and remember 'china' means mate, and don't take up any offers of a septic tank...

Conan Drumm said...

London, with the bosses? I'm beginning to suspect you're more of a maitre than a waitre.

livesbythewoods said...

Hellooo. I have tagged you. If you get time, I mean.

Quenn Of Clean said...

Have a great time, and do everything BBB told you to do, he's spot on.

Thanks awfully old chap for the spiffing badges....dare not wear them in public as they are obviously tools to 'out' bloggers, but thank you anyway!

I hope you took my advice on the Hotel, because I know about these things...but if it's crap, er, well, um, sorry.

MJ said...

Mmmmm...HobNobs.

Anonymous Boxer said...

Finally! Now if you can get Old K to let go of his 40 blogs, there will be more room for the rest of us.

Have a lovely trip.

Mudflapgypsy said...

LAAHHHHDAAHHNNNN. Innit?

Smile obsequiously at the management Manny. Keep 'em sweet, yeah?

Order big 'n' eat loads if you are there on their bill. Go on.

savannah said...

well done, sugar..london on someone else's dime! (or is that pence? or pound?)

Native Minnow said...

Good luck with the awards, and on the no new blogs thing. I assume this one will keep going though, correct?

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