Thursday, 24 January 2008

The time has come to pass on the lycra shorts of justice

the ever ready
Staff Rep Man!


My two year reign as Staff Representative is about to come to an end. As staff rep it was my job to act as a bridge between staff and management, a conduit if you will from those with problems to those who probably caused them. I would sit in on disciplinary hearings and offer advice to those on the wrong side of Johnny-work-Law. In my mind I was a champion for the working Joe/Josephine, a cross between Arthur Scargill and Superman with a bit of Ghandi thrown in too. Not that I fancy myself much. Saying that, I wasn't really fan of the fasting and non-violence, eat and riot has always been my philosophy.

I was a two term Staff Rep. The first year I took the job as no one else wanted it. The second year came down to a vote between everyone's favourite man whore, Eddie, and myself. Obviously I lost the popular vote but still ended up winning the position. Just like GWB. Too much talking and not enough spreading the love. A man whore is hard to beat. The day of the vote I was pretty sure I would lose as the kitchen pretty much no showed and there are more bar staff than waiting staff. And so it came to pass that when the Glorious Leader announced the results Eddie was crowned the winner. I sat there faking my delight for him like a losing Oscar candidate.

Two days later Eddie decided it wasn't for him and he abdicated from the role. I, in a fit of martyrdom, decided I didn't want the position when they came crawling back. (I have witnesses, they crawled alright) They said no to me and I was hurt. Who got them the TV for the staff room? Who got them.......eh um er uh......other things that don't spring to the mind straight away but there were other things. So after a day or two of refusing I eventually caved in and took up the position again.

I was the Staff Rep again for another year, which was ironic as I couldn't give a fudge for most of them and obviously they felt the same about me. But weather I liked them or not I would still go to battle for them at the drop of a hat.

Schedule problems? I'm there

Training issues? I'm there

Been caught swearing at the manager and are deep in the shit? I'm there with bells on

Need a staff party organised? I was nowhere to be seen, absent without leave, lost in the wilderness.

And for this they will never forgive me. Cunts. It's there own damn faults that we never had enough staff parties last year. I would plan something and someone would start moaning that they have something else to do that night. This would inevitably set off a chain reaction of whinging and bitching and general slapped arseness. Even when I gave them carte blanche to plan anything they want they came with two dozen ridiculous ideas. Paint balling isn't everyones idea of a great day out. I even tried to deputise a party planner, but no one wanted it. I had power to deputise and power to bring the fuck. I rarely brought the funk. Ach fuck it, it ain't my problem anymore.

Now my term is up and it's time to pass on the red shimmering cape and matching lycra shorts that come with the job to the next staff rep. I'm retiring from public office to spend more time with my family and to take up directorships with leading arms manufacturers and chemical companies. I'm also moving to a tax free haven in the Indian Ocean.......

13 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Medbh said...

Those undies don't leave much room for the imagination. Ack.
You're better off, Manuel. Being the mediator between staff and management sounds like no fun at all. If you're the person who listens to complaints, who listens to your grievances?

Manuel said...

Medbh: I talk to myself a lot.....actual photo of me too*.......














*not actual photo of me to be honest....I'm hairier.....

Old Knudsen said...

If I had to pick someone to be in my corner for a fight against 'the man' yer name would be # 1 on my list of people not to pick, I trust ya as much as I'd tip ya.


Bad photo bad photo

daisyfae said...

staff parties are specialized hell. whenever someone complains that we don't have them, i say "Great idea! So thoughtful of you to offer to organize the next one!" Shuts 'em the fuck up, it does. No more complaints, either.

nice tights. do they come in a backless leather version?

MJ said...

Off topic...

I'm taking you up on your offer.

See my comment on my blog.

conortje said...

You'll miss the icky red lycra shorts - go on, admit it :-)

Mudflapgypsy said...

You'll sweat less not wearing that lycra you know.

An executive directorship at Vicious Killing Implements Ltd might suit you well, no?

gimme a minute said...

A man whore is hard to beat.

Unless that's what you're paying him for and you have a safe word, in which case it's pretty easy.

sheepworrier said...

I'm curious what you would have typed into google images to get that pic Manuel...

Nick said...

Jesus, Manuel, you shouldn't publish such blatant pictures - it's too much for my latent gay tendencies! Good for you doing a stint as staff rep, better than what most people do - moan non-stop about working conditions but disappear sharpish when any kind of official complaint is suggested.

ellie said...

I imagine those shorts chafe a fair bit and you are relieved to pass them on.

Gypsy said...

Just think Manuel, when you pass on those shorts to the next sucker, they'll be the ones getting their ass pinched.

fgeegf said...

成人電影,情色,本土自拍, 情色聊天室, 寄情築園小遊戲, AV女優,成人電影,情色,本土自拍, A片下載, 日本A片, 麗的色遊戲, 色色網, ,嘟嘟情人色網, 色情網站, 成人網站, 正妹牆, 正妹百人斬, aio,伊莉, 伊莉討論區, 成人遊戲, 成人影城,
ut聊天室, 免費A片, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網,
美女交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人貼圖, 成人電影, A片, 豆豆聊天室, 聊天室, UT聊天室, 尋夢園聊天室, 男同志聊天室, UT男同志聊天室, 聊天室尋夢園, 080聊天室, 080苗栗人聊天室, 6K聊天室, 女同志聊天室, 小高聊天室, 情色論壇, 色情網站, 成人網站, 成人論壇, 免費A片, 上班族聊天室, 成人聊天室, 成人小說, 微風成人區, 色美媚部落格, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人論壇,
日本A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友, 本土自拍, 免費A片下載, 性愛,
成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, aV, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片,成人電影,情色,本土自拍,