Two customers, 5 waiters, 40 wasted pounds - Lunch at Deanes Deli

the seal knows...
...and isn't very happy

Review: Restaurant

I went to: Deanes Deli

On the: 6Th August

For: Lunch with Little Miss Manuel

We ordered: Bread and black olive tapenade to start followed by Portavogie Haddock and Chips with Hilden Ale Batter with mushy peas and tartare sauce for Little Miss Manuel and Sea Bass in a fish broth served with baby boiled potatoes, olives, and tomatoes for me. Sounds great eh?

And it was: Wow, anger and disappointment really are the most apt words for this meal. But then again the Seal of anger and disappointment (S.A.D) gave the game away there. LMM's fish & chips, let's call a spade a spade shall we, was damn poor. The batter was wet and soggy and the fish itself tasteless. Freezer fish would have been preferable. My Sea Bass wasn't as bad but the broth lacked any real discernable flavour but the potatoes, both of them, were nice enough. It was all just very dull....

The service was: Not great. No one asked if everything was OK during our meal. No one asked us if we enjoyed our meal when we finished and sat there with our faces tripping us. Seriously LMM's face was all over the table and half way out the door such was her disappointment. The thing is they never ask you if you enjoyed your food in Deanes. I'm not sure if this is arrogance or just bad service. Nobody engages you in even a snippet of conversation. Hey I don't want to discuss the current situation in the Middle East but hell gimme something! And we never saw the same waiter twice during our meal. This drives me to distraction. It's as if they are saying, "Hey fuck you, we don't care enough to assign a waiter to your table and anyone can do it". And the service charge is included for my convenience, which is thoughtful.

It cost me: £45 or there about' plus the cost of a better lunch the next day...

And I'll be going back: in no hurry. I work hard for the money, so hard for the money and I wont be giving it away cheaply. I probably will go back, one day when the wounds of this lunch have healed*, but no time soon.

And so it gets: 1/5 and that's not good no matter what way you look at it. And it gets that 1 point for the young lady that seated us who was very nice and the bread. But if I wanted nice bread and a nicer lady I could have just stayed at home....

Other words: My meal wasn't that bad and if I had been on my own then this review wouldn't have been half as bad. But the when you go out to eat the "experience" of the meal isn't just whether you enjoyed your meal but whether the table as a whole enjoyed their meal. This is a point I try to make to managers at work when a guest complains. It's not just the complainants experience that is ruined but the people they are dining with thus when we review the bill we should do this for the entire table not just the individual.

I hate being served by numerous different waiters. I want to know that someone is looking after my table. It inevitably leads to a lack of care and that's what allows good customers with good cash to leave unhappy, angry, and disappointed. Michael Deane is one of our leading chefs and has done so much to raise the quality of food served in Belfast and as a result expectations have been raised as well. Needs sorted Mr Deane before your very hard earned reputation suffers any further.


* a little touch of drama there, I'm entitled to it seeing as I have to put up with enough of it at work...