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Saturday 26 May 2007

Fat man and Thumb Stubber, the return


Table for 2? Not tonight sir
or any night in the coming decade

Unbelievable! The fact that this chap came within a hundred meters of the restaurant, let alone contemplated entering, is mind boggling!

Fat man and Thumb-stubber where the catalyst for this blog. They were the Straw that Broke this Camels Back. Cunts, and no mistake.

I was lurking round the side door of the building, enjoying a well earned smoke break, when I looked up and saw the massive bulk approach me. What was left of the evening sun was blocked out by his gargantuan frame. I recognised them straight away. He wore shimmering Farah-esque slacks and grey slip on shoes, that you just know covered up a pair of white socks, and an open neck shirt that revealed a curly, greying patch of chest hair. [shudder] He had his arm round Thumb-stubber the way teenagers do when they are full of hormones and can't stop touching each other. He probably can't walk unaided. Thumb-stubber herself was sporting a fetching trouser suit from Kay's Catalogue or a market stall somewhere. Her thumb glowed/radiated nicotine in the evening twilight.

Fat man spotted me first and nudged his yellowish lover who smiled nervously at me, revealing her yellow/brown teeth. Nice. He frowned, muttered something to Thumb-stubber then performed a perfect u-turn and wobbled away in the other direction. Whilst I was delighted they got the point that they are not welcome, I would have enjoyed telling them personally. But my God they must have some set of kahonas to even think about coming back. I'm a very forgiving person, but after their antics on their last visit I'd just leave it alone if I was them.


A beautiful couple and no mistake

14 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Megan McGurk said...

Now I have to go and find out who these nasty people are.
And thanks for solving the mystery of you illustrious relations to Irish feminist history, Manuel.

Megan McGurk said...

That's supposed to be "your illustrious relations"

Manuel said...

Shhhhhhhhh, old K will find out and get upset.

Little Miss Manuel said...

Didn't you go out with that lady? mmmmmm? Didn't you?

Unknown said...

I hate when somebody gets the message from my body language to get lost before i have the chance to swear at them properly.

Manuel said...

Medbh: They are very best avoided, amd thunb stubber and Fatman

LMM: Yes dear...

Plusultra: Tell me about it. I was up n ready to let lose with a vitriolic attack of mega proportions and they just up n split. Bastards...

Momentary Madness said...

"yellowish lover" you mean he's homosexual,fuck me if it isn't Twenty Major and on a good day at that, he's lookin' well.
Y;-) Paddy

Megan McGurk said...

Manuel, if I were related to that family it would be pasted on a banner on the 'ol blog.
Who cares if bragging about your family is obnoxious?

savannah said...

had to read the reason why...good on you, sugar, for not even having to speak to such dimwitted skanks! you must have given them the "don't-even-think-of-coming-in-here" look!

Kav said...

I would've pooed onto my hand and thrown it at them. But that's just me.

fatmammycat said...

They've some bloomin' neck the pair of them, after the carry on of the last time.

Fat Sparrow said...

Can you not let them come in, and then make sure they get food poisoning and die?

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

With her thumb?

Bloody well ouch!

Manuel said...

Paddy: well spotted, as always

medbh: obnoxious is my middle name!

savannah: but i wanted to vocalise my emotions, spoil sports

kav: a man of true class

fmc: I know! Some set of balls...

fat sparrow: poisoning? they wish! i have bigger plans for them

sam: oh yes, a real princess