Wednesday, 14 March 2007

The chef's Revenge

"Portstewart 1998, waiter keeps nicking chips off customer's plates. Chef, p*ssed off about this, chips up a Godzillian chip, fries it, slices it open, scoops out the inner potato and fills the shell with salt before resealing with oil and setting on plate. Waiter eyes finest chip of it's generation and scoffs it. Mouthful of salt produces ususal effects (watering eyes, gasping for breath and so on). Chef's wife holds out glass of water. Waiter gulps relief sized slurp. Not water, vinegar. So cruel, how we laughed."

Submitted by the hellfireclub

5 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Manuel said...

I am more than a bit conflicted by this story as I am both a waiter and a chip nicker! Good story though.

toast said...

the following appeared in the B3ta mailout a couple of weeks ago:

"Visiting family in Edinburgh as a child, I was taken to a large and posh restaurant. My mum had made us dress properly... *scowls and stamps foot*

The adults were talking and drinking, my brother and I were bored. He hands me a chip and says, "eat it". You'd be amazed how painful it is when you chomp on a chip placed vertically in your mouth... and find that it has a toothpick inserted into it along its length.

We giggled, and decided to put toothpicks in each and every remaining chip on the plate. My brother got our dad to eat one and, after being bollocked for being irresponsible little bastards, we sat in silence awaiting pudding.

Main course was cleared away, and still we waited. Just as the chocolate pudding arrived, the respectful silence of the posh restaurant was broken by a yelp... a scream, and then five seconds later a big scary hairy bastard shouting, "WHY IS THERE TOOTH-PECKS IN MAH WHIFE'S FUCKING CHEPPS???"

I suspect that was the last time they re-cycled food in that restaurant... the cheap-skate bastards."

kris said...

I'm just happy the word "habanero" never showed up in this post. ;)

Love these initial posts and the fact that you've joined us over at Indie Bloggers. Cheers!

Manuel said...

Cheers Kris, good to in the club,if you know what I mean. What? Do I even know?

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